Albeit I haue beene soomtime (gently I confesse) repillegible for writinge, yet I cannot forbeare my self, but needs I must bee doinge, my hart and harty affections beinge noe lesse toward your worship, but if possible may bee more then formerly, and albeit I am banished from your presence, that I may not see your face, nor heare your voyce, as at other times, yet cannot the remembrance of your worship be rooted out of my hart, by any other means then death. I know and doe heare that your worship is dayly incensed agaynst mee, and informed that my hart is not humbled, but I am still proude and lofty; I could desier from my hart and soule that those that thus judge and report of mee, if they doe it out of pitty and tendernesse, as wishinge my euerlastinge good, that as they cannot but know it is not in the power of the most mightyest prince in the world, to breake a hard hart, or to humble a proud hart either by power or policy; but it is the Lord alone that must doe it; that such would joyne with mee in prayer and suplication to the Almighty, that he would take the woorke in hand, for he is able to bringe it to passe; then should I haue great cause to looue them and to pray for them, and to prayse god that should send mee such gratious helpe agaynst that sinn that hath euer beene to mighty for mee; I know ther is none while wee cary this body about with vs that is wholy freed, thought the Lord hath giuen to soome more power to preuayle, not that the stronge should despise the weake, or that he that hath ouercoome should stand affarr of and laugh at him that is yet in hott fight, and like to goe to the woorst: but the Lord who doth it in part, for that end looketh that such should coome forth and helpe the Lord agaynst the mighty, consideringe that if they bee deliuered indeed, that it was not by themselues or by there owne power, but by the power of the Lord; but if they be otherwise minded, and that ther compleynts hearin tend to soome end of ther owne, I say noe more but as Steuen: The good lord pardon them. They know not what they doo. this I am suer of that I find it very hard to bringe downe my hart to that low pitch that I know it must be brought to before the Lord vouchsafe to make his abode with mee. blessed be his name for it, he is not altogether a stranger to my poore soule, but yet as a stranger he giueth mee Coomfort, and an asured expectation of his euerlasting presence with mee, in that hee coomes now and maketh knowen to mee what is the Cause of his absence, and why he is soe strange, and sheweth mee those disorders in my soule which 504I neuer dremed of, which now I see to be such, that while I harbored such base inmates it was not likely that euer the Lord should coome neare mee in mercy, and that hee did not coome in euerlastinge Judgment agaynst mee and giue mee the reward of my doings I cannot but admier exceedingly. truly, I speke the truth in Christ I ly not; the Lord hath shewed mee such lothsoome abomynations which I neuer before minded, that haue brought mee to a secret lothinge of my selfe, and admiration at the bowels of Compassion in the Almighty, that he had not for euer loathed mee: secrets as close as those, which the Lord shewed to Esekell, when he led him from Chamber to Chamber; and sayd seest thou these, see yet greter; but because it would be to tedyous to your worship to read it I should enter into particulers, and shew the manner of gods dealinge with mee and any woork of gods grace on my soule with the manner and seuerall degrees of late times; besides my person beinge brought into soome Contempt with your worship I might be suspected to disemble with you, which thinge farr be it fromm mee: neither cann it stand with tru grace, for if Dauid would not admitt of a deceitfull person, I am suer dauids god, by whome I looke for saluation will not; noe vncleane thinge shall dwell with him; but I shall be tedyous; it hath beene tould mee, that great obiections wear agenst mee in the bay: for that I liued in an ordinary: but I haue great Cause to feare that they who weare troubled at that, had rather haue heard of a woorse Condition, that either I had not liued, or that I had liued amonge the Indyans. I would not willinge speak soe rashly without soome ground, for soome I know thought I cease to name them now, did what in them lay to haue hindered my abode heare; for noe Cause I know that I haue giuen them; but I prayse god I can hartely pray for them, knowinge that he that is with mee is stronger then he that is with them while they thus continue thought a member of a Congregation: perhaps the god whome I hope they serue, doth not allow of it nor good men when they see it.

these men might a little consider what dauid was putt to in the time of his strayts, soometime to liue amonge the enemyes of god and his people; soometime in houlds, in woods, with a madd and wiked crud. had they beene then in Saules Court, or that they might haue coome soe famylyarly to the Kinge, as they can coome to your worship and to the Gouerner, how would they haue incensed the Kings wrath, (as noe question many did as apears by that of Doegg) against his faithfull and loyall subiect whose hart was vpright with god, and most true to his prince; thought despised of the Kinge and almost all his subiects as on not fitt to liue, while yet ther was noe euill found in him why they should doe this; They know it standeth little otherwise with me and I 505haue great Cause to blesse god for that I haue foode; was it not a mercy to Elyah when poore man he fled for his life, was in the wildernesse wher noe succor was to be had; that the Lord commanded the rauens to feed him; Creatures by nature, more like to pray vppon him, and to pick out his eyes, then to feed him, yet when by gods prouidence they brought him meat, he tooke it thankfully, as from the hands of god; and thereby doubtlesse was moore confirmed of gods fatherly Care of him, and faithfulnesse to him that God would not forsake him; I must needs confesse that I haue made this vse of it what euer Construction they make, for when I came hither I found none but did pitty mee, and seemed to be sory for mee, but if this man had not fed me I might haue fed on ther pitty till I dyed; soome which I thought would haue beene helpfull; haue contented themselues, only with this word pitty fore mr. wislo2 I thank him, not longe before he came into the Baye, bad mee coome to his house a month or two, and welcoome, for which I gaue him great thanks, rather desiringe that he would if it might be deuise soome way how I might in gods way bee doinge soomthinge, wherby soom glory might coome to god and soome benefitt to soome, rather than to liue like a droone to suck out the hony, which others brought in, protestinge in truth, that rather then I would liue Idly, I would be content to be the town Swinheard, if it would be accepted, but noe man did any way put forth his hand to helpe me, noe not my great frend mr. Padde; saue that the Lord stirred vp mr. Browne whoe did not only pitty mee, but had mee to his house, kept me with him illegible dayes, and minded my Condition, by whose meanes, I haue now taken a farme, wheron by the helpe of god I may liue by my labor; my request is now to renue my former sute with your worship whom I haue euer found redy to helpe mee, that I may haue that liberty to coome into the bay partly to gett a man, partly to try the word of those which haue promised to helpe me if once I setled; for I will asuer your worship that I beginn now wholy on my portion, which is sufficient I know that he is able if he will to helpe mee and I haue my Confidence in him that in the lawfull vse of meanes he will not be wantinge; I am else a poore beginner as euer was. I haue neither pott nor pann, spoone nor trencher, bed nor blankett, in a woord nothinge, but the Lord alone; I beseech your worship to procure me this fauour if it may bee; if I offend the law let mee suffer what you will, this only, which is noe offense, but as nature binds mee, and noe law of god or man doth deny mee, I shall desier in soom place to see my children; but for ther mother, thought I shall while I haue life care for hir as my deare Child, yett 506to see hir, tendeth but to the farther brekinge of my hart neither doe I desier to doe any thinge but what may coomfort hir, and to see mee cannot. pitty my Condition I beeseech you; If your worship weare suerly perswaded with what hart I write, it may be you would haue pitty on mee, and helpe mee, at lest with your prayers; it is vnknown to your worship how it is with mee, not in regard of any outward Calamyty I speake in regard that I want meat or drink or the like; but what it is the Lord knoweth. I cease to speake any more. if your worship be pleased grant me this request; I shall acknowledge my selfe bond to you for it as for all other. Small kindnesse now from your worship seeme greate and I can prise them; I desier that I may heare from your worship by this bearer, and how my worthy mystres, with all yours are, willinge to tender life and limm in gods way for you or yours if euer god call me to it in the meane time I shall remayne in all humble submission Your worship's to be commanded

I was right glad of any opportunity of hearing from you in this silent time of winter. The messenger you sent by only left your letter at Agawam, or Springfield, from whence it came to my hands; but the party himself was not yet with me, but if he repairs to me, I shall follow your advice in that thing you mentioned concerning Anogamey; for he is not any confederate friend of ours. That the express, that Onkus should take wampham of 507the Narragansetts for Myantonimo's ransom,2 (which I have understood also from Mr. Eaton,) I cannot but concur with you, if really it appears so, equity and justice calls for no less; but this I must needs say, that this very thing was cast abroad by some Indians of the Narragansett party, and myself coming to understand it somewhat before Myantonimo his death, both myself and Capt. Mason strictly examined Onkus concerning the matter, acquainting him with what we heard. He utterly denied, that he had taken wampham or any other thing upon any such terms. He confessed, indeed, he had wampham and other things given him and his brother freely; and he as freely promised to bring him to the English, which he said he had performed; and this I also know, that the same day that Myantonimo was delivered into our hands and imprisoned, that Onkus and his brother, with many of their men, were at that place where he was committed, myself and Capt. Mason then present also. Onkus desired him to speak before us all; and this Myantonimo did then utter and confess, that the Mohegan sachems had dealt nobly with him in sparing his life, when they took him, and performing their promise in bringing him to the English, (a thing the like he never knew or heard of, that so great a sachem should be so dealt withal,) although he himself pressed it upon them, again and again, (as they all could witness,) to slay him; but they said, No, but you shall be carried to the English; which therefore, if it should prove other upon due trial, I should marvel much; for his own confession, I should think, goes far in the case; but I leave it to further consideration and better judgments. I have not since spoke with him since I received that from you, but I shall by the first opportunity. The Narragansetts, I fear, notwithstanding their fair promises and pretences, will not sit down quiet, as you suppose. (Mr. Pincheon thinks the same also with me,) from whom I lately heard.

The evidence to the contrary are these two, which is manifestly known. First; they have sent a very great present to the Mowhawkes. Secondly; those Pequots, that were under the Niantick and Narragansett sachems, have lately slain a sachem squa that belonged to Onkus. He sent lately a messenger to us to signify the same, desiring he may have the aid of the English against them, as conceiving, by what was read to him, that was agreed upon and sent for that purpose from the commissioners, gave him hope of aid, if the Narragansetts should fall upon him again; which he desired yourself and the rest of the English sachems should be made acquainted withal, that he might understand their pleasure. You may be pleased to return your answer, for I promised to acquaint you with it. There is late news by a vessel that came to the Dutch, and from them to New Haven, by Mr. Allerton. The substance this; that there 508hath been a great battle betwixt the king's and parliament's forces, (since that of Newbery,) at Ailsborow in Buckinghamshire, wherein the parliament forces prevailed, pursuing their victory with very great slaughter of the adverse party. Also, that the fleet is again out under that noble Earl of Warwick, who came lately into the harbour of some great town held by the contrary party full sail with his fleet, both by block-houses and castles, and lands his men, takes the town, sets many prisoners at liberty. (The town's name I heard not.) I leave the truth of the report to be judged of by you, only latest letters give some probable conjectures of the possibility thereof. It was said, there was much sadness in Holland about it; but we received no letters from thence. I am sorry to hear of Mr. Dudley his cause of sorrow and heaviness. I shall add no more, only due respect to yourself; mine with my wife's to Mrs. Winthrop; desiring to be remembered also to Mr. Dudley, Mr. Cotton, Mr. Wilson, I rest yours, to his power