A website from the Massachusetts Historical Society; founded 1791.

Papers of the Winthrop Family, Volume 4

James Luxford to John Winthrop1
Luxford, James JW

1640-01-25

Right Worshipful,

I beeseech you in the executiotion of Justice that yet you will remember mercye: and remember the promise which your worship solemly made that thought your worship will not forgiue the wronge, as soomtime you promised to doe, yet that I might coom forth to receiue such punishment as the country and your worship please to inflict. I am constrayned to trouble your worship agen, hearinge by diuers that I am not like to be caled for this Court.2 If your worship will not be per­180swaded, but that I and my poore innocent babes must suffer: the Lord I trust will yet looke on my misery, for your worship I neuer intended your worship harme I leaue the lord to perswade your worship of the truth of that which you are yet hard to beleeue, but god that searcheth the hart and tryeth the reynes, before whome cursed Doeggs and flateringe Zibaes, without tru and sound repentance, shall not be able to stand vp right, knoweth that I haue not taken from your worship any thinge more or lesse I haue not with soome growe great with my masters decay, but in my ould age my self wife and children if god doe not mightyly helpe, beyond mans expectation, may coome soone to perish for extreeme want; I am very sensible of your worship's condition more euery day and that God hath made mee an Instrument hearof, it is soe breakinge of my hart, and I doe vnfeynedly professe, that soe farr as I know my hart if the losse of my life might reedeeme it I could willingly giue it vp which since it cannot doe, if I myght but suffer with your worship in the manyfestation of my vnmoouable affection to your worship in soome improouement of my trauells in any way that might be aduantagious for you or yours yet I would be gladde; thought I haue beene chased out as a dogge not worthy to coome neare the house wher your worship's seruants dwelt; those who did it manyfestinge great willingenesse, as expression did manyfest, of the ruinge and destruction both of soule and body, soomwhat contrary in my apprehention; I pray God forgiue it, at which time, on my returne, the tender compassionate caryage of your worship cannot be forgotten of mee nor I hope shall not while I liue; and truly as soomtime I sayd to soome, when I little thought of these things that are now falen out, that if the state should euer requier it I would spend my trauells in your worship's affayers, for bread and water rather then any other for 100li per Annum: my hart is still the same and though soome of the wisest and holyest haue concluded that ther cannot be ann Expectation of any blessinge to goe with my labors; it is soomwhat rashly concluded, allbeit I doe highly reuerence him and his Judgment yet if it had beene in the case of another, I could of sayd truly that Israell on the same ground might haue beene perswaded to haue reiected Dauid and that it could not be that euer the kingdoome could prosper while he did gouerne. A greeuous sinn committed a heuie Judgment inflicted, and sadd things dayly ensued, Butt God that pardoned his sinn, wrought saluation for him, and for all Israell by him. The like might haue beene sayd of Joabb. It might haue beene obiected that he had beene the instrument vsed by god to bringe that heuie calamety on kinge and people, in Absoloomes Rebellyon, nay if they might of gone on probabilityes as now is vsuall without ground, but 181brayne sick fansies, ther might haue beene much to mooue the scruple; for if Joabb had not beene, Absolom might haue then farr inought from hauinge such power to put his father to flyth. Joabs subtillty was the cause of his cominge to the Court; he might haue beene not only thought by this to be a mann not fitt, with any hope of successe, to haue the whole guidance and orderinge of the battell agaynst him; but rather haue beene suspect of treason, for that he had beene soe intimate with him; but neither Dauid nor the people stopte him. But Dauid doth continue his comission: and he goeth forth and with successe returneth the obiectyons heare made, are not hard to Answer, wher charety is but wher that is wantinge, the strongest Arguments are of little or noe force; Truly I could yet desier, from that vnfeyned looue that I haue borne to your worship and haue doone since I saw your face, and doe at this present day; that I might be permitted to enter on soome improouement, with small charge, where there could be noe great danger of losse and see whether or noe the lord haue cursed my labor. If I should say that my labors formerly had beene cursed, or should soe now conclude; I should much dishonor god, but god that saw and knew, that the way was not right according to him, the snarre that I had brought my selfe into, did blast it. I hope in mercy to my soule, thought it haue falen out much to your worship's trouble, disquiett and damage; and which is noe small greef to mee, I feare to the detractinge of soome honor and esteeme, which otherwayes might haue continued longer matter to mee of deep humyliation and farther ingagement; to indeuor if possible I may be yet an instrument of soome good to your worship before I leaue this troublesoome world; consider that my last labors that yet doe remayne, doth not seeme to be cursed. I found the lord both in the house and field; I found as little cause of just complaynt as any ouersear in the land, either of stubbornnesse or idlenesse of those that weare vnder my charge. If I had walked closly with god, and had not beene vnmindfull of his woord and wayes, I might haue had that coomfort that now I want. But I trust god will yett restore your worship double and that these eyes of mine may see it, by what way or meanes seemeth best to him.

I could hartely still wish that your worship had your farme wher it hath beene spoken of: you may, if not you, yet yours find the benefitt, but your selfe I doubt not: for the wronge that I haue doone to your worship which is great many wayes, I doe refer thee mentioninge of it to a time and place, where god may haue more glory and it may tend more to your worship's honor and satisfaction when euer I shall be caled, which that I may not be sparinge in, the Lord whome I seeke I trust will helpe mee, and that with an 182vpright hart as in the presence of god I may doe it I desier the helpe of your prayers: I am sorry that my poore babes with ther mother are now as I heare redy to be turned forth of doors, miserable wretch I, that am like to bringe sorrow and misery to soe many, but my trust is in the lord, who is redy to heare the prayers and pardon the iniquityes of his seruants poore lambes what haue they doone; ther is a great brute that I should haue 2 wiues in ould England, which is a crime deseruinge noe lesse then death. goodwif Bullock did report that my mrs. should tell hir soe, who because I know hir to be a notoryous lyer I the rather mention it beinge confident that therin as in many other things shee hath belyed both your worship and my mrs. as shee is a wooman makinge as little conscience therof as any in new england. I would your worship would aduise mee, euen as you would aduise on whom you looue, what I might doe in this. It is as certenly false as that ther is a god in heauen; as will be prooued, and thought the lord sent such things for the chastisement of them that he looues, yet without repentance the can looke for noe better reward then Cayne or Judas. I beseech you yet for the Lord sake be mindfull of my bonds, and be soome meanes for my deliuerance, if they haue hopes or feares, to haue farther matter agenst me, lett them apoynt me my limitts which if I passe let me dy: but I will trouble your worship noe farther entreatinge the lord to open your worship's hart to shew mercy.

Your worship's in All humble and hartey seruice, thought in any other kind yet held vnwoorthy

James Luxford Ca. January 25, 1639/40
1.

W. 4. 52; 5 Collections , I. 135–139.

2.

There was a meeting of the Court of Assistants on January 30, 1639/40.