itt is your charrety and not my words that I rely vppon for my fayrest and best Excuse of my seeming neglect and faylings of the dues of loue, yett that you may not bee vnknowing of truths giue mee leaue to tell you, I haue I verely suppose much ill happ for some of my letters and remembrances sent vnto you, for else I know in your last I had from you I should haue found mention of theire 250ariuall, seeing they had surely bin with you long before the date of yours to mee, if I could haue hope that you had them att all. But my last I hope better of, sent by my cossin Gurdon that they haue saluted you and still lett you know how desirous I am to liue in your brest and hould the place I had wont, though I could justly complaine of some accidents that (full ill against my will and hope) might in some construction render mee less deserving your continuing goode Opinion then I hope I deserue: But I avoyde those thoughts that may any wayes mooue mee to a Jelousy of that loue I soe much couett: these lines come now by a meanes which my Brother Barnardiston (now with mee) hath found out, but my time of warning is verry short and difficult for my Enlargment, yett such times and oportuneties are soe scarse as I may not nor will willingly pretermitt any that I cann lay hould of: Neyther is the time with vs heere soe free and sure to vs, as that I dare write you what I think and would you knew, neyther doe I euer expect a time for itt till wee meete in the hauen after our storms are passed: You that are vnder lee I hope forgett vs not that are yett in the storme, nor wee you (as wee may) for the encrease of Gods Blessings: for my particuler you want not a constant memory in my vnworthy servises; I would I were as able as desirous to enlarge my Hart to you: As touching your mention of my kinsman2 and his estate I haue I hope before this time satisfied you, how my affections and abilities stand inclined towards him, though happely soe farr short of his Expectation (I am sure of his demands) as that I cann hardly beleeue I haue any way satisfied him: My cosin Gurdon did vndertake to returne a token for mee towards him, when I neyther had the liberty to write to him nor your selfe: I could much complaine of my ill success with him, in that (hauing disburst euen that which I assure you I haue since wanted for neerer Occasions, and to which I am more Bound) I haue giuen him or my selfe eyther soe little Comfort or Content in itt, as that I reape noe fruites but lamentable Complaynings, Immoderate demands and some vnkinde expostulations, and in generall giues mee cause to judg that nothing I eyther haue done or cann doe, is inough, or to any purpose: Itt almost discoraged mee for altogether, seeing hee writes to mee as if I had none else to respect, or att least not as to one that would bee, (as heeretofore) free in my charety, if I did not plainly foresee, that except I doe prejudice my selfe and my neerer duties and Occasions, (which are farr otherwise then hee conceyues of mee) I cannot come neere the 100 part almost of his requirings: Hee poore man is ignorant of our condition generally and mine in particuler heere now, and minding himselfe only, forgetts his 251freind and his first terms and promises with mee, when could I haue prevayled I had stayd him vntill his strength might haue bin better to vndertake what hee would attempt too headily, and wherein (without my then forwardnes in a way beyond ordenary and his owne Expectation) hee had fayled of all hee aymde att: But I haue writt a few lines to him, and send them heereinclosed presuming of your fauor to lett them bee deliuered to him, wherein I forbeare these particulers purposely, for I desire rather to pitty him then provoke him. what I would haue done for releife this Spring I profess I could not for meanes I could learne none to send by nor now more then this letter: I hope amongst other you finde mee in the matter of seade you writt for God prosper itt: I cann now noe more both for paper and time: vnto that God that disposeth all things by his Will and Wisdome and that to the best for those hee loueth you are dayly commended, and entreated to commend Your faythfull frend and Brother