Robert Treat Paine Papers, Volume 2
Suffer me I pray you thus to talk to you in the Language my heart dictateth I see you are Unhappy and long to know the cause. I have various Conjectures but cannot possibly fix on any thing to Satisfy me, I See you but Seldom, I See you Under disadvantages, I woud not willingly harbour a conceit to me my wounding, Therefore pray be so free with me as to set me right. Do I do any thing that gives you pain? The Sincerely willing to do right are Ever I beleive Jealous of themselves—I hope you ant always so Embarrast So Mummyfied as when I am present and do you only place yourself in my Situation for a moment and Consider my feelings what they must be, my affections not weak ones so repuls'd! Do you think it wicked to love a Sister? Are you afraid of catching my infirmities by looking on me? Pray read this with a chearfull tone. I feel in better Spirits than common & chuse to write without that Anguish of spirit which might make my language too Nervus. Do you consider me as a dun that is never satisfied with money? These & a thousand more of various Complexions offer themselves to my choice when I reflect on your behaviour I sometimes fancy you uneasy in your own breast and that afflicts me Equally. I wish you all manner of happiness & Shoud be glad I had it in my power to make addition to your portion. Do put it in my power at least assure me I am not your burden. I cant be Satisfied to live at this rate, you Surely cant take pleasure in it. Therefore give it all vent and Send it to me. Ill thank you for it all be it what it may, if it Shews me my Errors Ill set about a reformaction, if I think it charges me Unjustly Ill take it patiently & in the Spirit of meekness plead my cause with you. I Know you cant be offended with my Sisterly Expostulation. You will certainly notice it to give me some Satisfaction. I can bear sickness & pain & worry thro' Straits and difficulties with a chearfuller Spirit than I can bear your Unaccountable Conduct. Perhaps it does not appear so to you & you may after this restore to me the Joy of my heart. with this hope I conclude & hoping that you will feel very pleasant and receive graciously this overflowing of the Heart of your Affectat. Sister,