Robert Treat Paine Papers, Volume 2
Your Silence renders you the object of attention. What Can be the reason that you so Entirely neglect Your friends that have Suffer'd Extraordinary afflictions? Visits in Kindness have been made, & Letters of Condolence sent from all our Sympathizing friends but you. I wou'd not Exclude you the number but Certainly you have made great progress in Stoicism if you have felt no Compassion move toward the Benevolent family inviron'd with Distress. The ties of Affection & Grattitude which bind me to rejoyce & mourn with them have been almost too Strong for me. I left the Town very abruptly (without seeing you as I hope'd to) to attend upon his Sickness, which was distressing to the family and raised anxious apprehensions that Were hardly recover'd when the Calamity of fire overtook us1 and render'd far more dreadfull by apprehension of wicked design twas a continued fearfullness that rack'd the Springs of Life, thus Enfeeble'd far from the advantages of society, with no Support but faith how Enlivening do think was the voice of a friend or the Effort of the absent by a wandering Letter. Im Sorry you, who have Such a tallent and have so often prov'd tis worth Employ'd for strangers Shou'd with-hold at this time.Ive longd to hear from you but why shoud I? Writing has been too great a task for me and now it hurts me tho' Im much better. I reside at Mr. Cranchs for the winter and Enjoy many almost forgotten pleasures. I expected or rather desire'd you to be in Town before this time;Ive felt great inconveniency from want of a supply. You must thinkIve had an Empty Purse some months there was no need of signing the Subscription Paper. I hope you'll find a way to Convey Safely to me Soon or I may take to bad Courses as others do. I send this by the way of Mr. Laughtons as you've Directed me and hope it will find its way. I wish you all a happy New Year remember me with the affection Ever Cherished By your well Known,
I wrote a line the Day after I left Town & sent to Mr. Cranches and had you called there you'd have heard from me and Gratify'd your friends that rejoyce in Your Society.
Joseph Palmer's house at Germantown burned to the ground in late Nov. 1767. See Joseph Palmer to Richard Cranch, Germantown, Nov. 25, 1767 (Maine Historical Society).
The thing that I greatly feared is come upon me; a Trimmation administred in yr. No. 6 for not enjoying that happiness which I am sure I feell in communicating Sympathy to all my fellow Creatures but more especially to any few some perticular ones that know what it means; I flatter myself you have not set me down totally inexcusable; I think I can account for my Conduct from such Principles as only would have given merit to an Adress.
I'm oblig'd to write now to improve a Conveyance to morrow, tho my Head aches too bad for such business. Take a plain Detail of Simple Facts; I saw the Fire exceeding plain at my home took it for a Northern Light; spent 1/2 an hour in Considering how such a Pheenomenon could be in a cloudy night, heard nor thought any more of it. Next Week went to Barnstable. next week to Plymouth & by Mr. Adams heard of the Catastrophe with no great external Emotions, but deep inward Ruminations wch. threw me into sober Meloncholly, attending rather to the Consequences than the Facts, & not having seen the House nor heard any description of it nor seen the owner for a long time, I was not so much moved by Passion as by Reasoning on innumerable Conjectures & felt more disposed for a personal Interview than a pathetic address. Nevertheless I was instantly determind to write on the occasion, and to have sent by Mr. Adams, but it is a most sober Truth I could not get time to write any thing till we parted. You readily concieve that the Occasion required a Collection of Consolatory Sentiments drawn from the best principles digested & refin'd, barely to tell them I was sorry & condoled & all that would not commonplace Civility would not satisfy me, nor can they doubt the Truth of that, but to present that offering which my Heart suggested & their merit demands was not in my power, nor has been since in my power, & so because I could not do what I would I did nothing; (all of peice) however I determind to write from Taunton but was obliged to go a Journey immediately & have been incessantly taken up ever since, three Weeks at Worcester Lancaster & the Regions there419about two of which detain'd by the sickness of poor Pomposity,1 came home, a thousand things to do & think of
2; I must therefore beg the Excuses of your suffering freinds, refferring them to what little they can recollect of me and console my self with the Consciousness of that sy
Remember me to Mr. Cranch & spouse & all Freinds & let my suffering Freinds know that if I had felt less on their account, I might have expressed more. 'Tis easier to say something suitable to occasion as polite Civility Phrases it than to express the feelings of Discomposure.
My time is spent & I must Conclude yr. affectionate Freind
Freinds at Lancaster & Worcester salute you.
On Pomposity, the horse, see RTP to Eunice Paine, Feb. 25, 1767.
An illegible line of cancelled matter.
A moydore was a gold coin in use in England during the early 18th century (OED).