Robert Treat Paine Papers, Volume 2
Dr. McKinstry has disclos'd to me a Letter wch. he recd. from you being moved thereto because a very perticular notice is therein taken of me & my Conduct; & is further justify'd in so doing in that he has undoubtedly as good a right to Shew the Letter after he had recd. it as you had before you sent it, wch. that you did is evident for that it is not in396yr. handwriting & so must at least pass under the inspection of Some other person if there was not a Consultation in the Composition. In yr. P:S you desire an Answer, most surely I have a right to answer what relates to my self, & as the Dr. declines meddling with the affair (& I think for wise reasons) I shall may take Notice of a few things by way of answer to the whole. Your Lugging me into this Dispute is just like your Conduct towards me in the Vizary you made before this now in dispute yr. indiscreett behaviour & unguarded speeches was such as creatd me some trouble & obliged me to naturally produced Coldness towards you since which yr. peculiar turn of Mind & Disposition so very manifest by yr. Speeches & Behaviour have Satisfyed induced me to think that no Satisfaction can arise from an Acquaintance & that the Peace & Safety of him who is not disposed to Quarrelling consists in having Nothing to do with you. I am not Sensible that I have neglegted the common Civilitys of Life towards you, if my Complaisance has ever gone beyond that, you'll consider every one has a right to choose his own Company, & phaps. if I had Shown you the Curtesy you seem to expect you wold have construed it as Submission in me to prevent your putting into Exdare say trust there is no Uneasiness unless What Naturally arises from a disdain of Such Conduct & Compassion towards yr. person; An unhappy affair truly; rash & inconsiderate was yr. Conduct you Confess, imprudent have been the Speeches you have made on the Occasion you acknowledge; & having done this you exclaim of hard usage; but the difficulty doth lay here, the Rumour is gone forth, trumpetted by yr. self from whom only the first knowledge of the affair matter took air, you could not keep yr. own Council, if you had it might have been Settled among yr. Selves & buried in Oblivion, but this phps. you reckon as part of yr. rashness;
1 but however sorry you are for yr. Rashness now, in the time of it you endeavur'd to extenuate it if not exculpate yr. self by throwing the blame on the Ladys freinds, & roundly asserterd to this in Substance that they Sollicited you to the match, that you were inveigled by them, that they took advantage of yr. youth & in Short that you did not know what you did but was like a Log pushed down Stream; & further have gone on to tell the conversation and the civility shown them you at Norton to their disadvantage. All this hath been publickly talk'd off & some have been induced by yr. plausible account of the Matter to believe & Say very disrespectful things of that Family in this affair & of Some of them on whom you are very bitter in yr. Letter in a perticular manner, & I have been obliged Repeatedly to
there Representations of the Matters, & not always with Success, I might have said abusive Representations for had they been strictly true which would
2 justify yr. Comparing yr. Self to a Log you had all sorts of occasions to tell it till they censured yr. not complying. After all this you expostulate must a Man dye for one peice of Rashness &c. &c. &c. & then go on to Set forth what a flame you found & what Proclamations of Disdain when you returned from yr. Journey; what have the Family to do with all this; the truth of the Matter is, that after you had blaz'd it abroad & made it ten times worse by the398Manner in which you excused yr. self, any person who was not lost to Honour cry'd fye upon you, you was disdain'd for a peice of misconduct which never could have been known if it had not been yr. own fault; that Family have raisd no Clamours agt. you, indeed you did not give them the opportunity; if any of them have expressed themselves with any degree of resentment agt. you, let the World judge whether it was any thing equall to the Provocations, & especially when you attack'd their Conduct in so very delicate a point one would think their tameness could arise from nothing but the Opinion they had of their Enemy, & what is very Surprizing in the midst of all yr. Confessions you Still go on with the same method of Excuse by recriminating on the family Mr. Thos. Leonobserve Say over & above the Observations I have made on their Expressions, that you would be free from the charge of Rashness if you should neglect to find fault with him for calling you a Lyar (if he did) till you have made out the Essential difference between Lying & Promise Braking, & untill you have made out that you were over perswaded by that Family to make the addresses you did; or for saying that your being treated like a Gentleman at their House was so contrary to yr. taste & Disposition that you could not bear it & so left the House, untill you have proved that you behaved as much like a Gentleman as you was treated there & that you left in a genteel manner as for yr. company yr. Education & the Compy. you have kept with him, it is only saying what advantages you have had for being a Gentleman without proving that was. Neither ought you to find fault with his calling you a fooll till you make it appear that your own Acct. of the whole will excuse you from it. All these things you propose should be forgotten as mere rashnesses, & after some acknowledgments you ask "What more can or Shall I say by way of Retribution?"
They will answer you by asking a Question; what shall we do to still the Clamour that is gone forth by yr. imprudence to the disadvantage of us both, if People will disdain you for yr. Conduct can we help that & can we Wipe off the Odium you have brought in the Family? Let me tell you Sr. that Perhaps the only way you have to make Retribution to that Lady is to satisfy acknowledge to the World that yr. Slighting her is no Disgrace, some speeches you have made on that Occasion unless you are lost to Humanity must make you blush at Midnight does not this
question of yrs. Suggest an answer to you. Compensation is the Only Retribution that can be made, & in this Case, Oblivion399is the best Compensation, the Injury arises only from the Rumour & when the Rumour is forgot the Wound will be heald in a genrous Mind. Pray Sr. enter into yr. own breast & consult the Workings of human Nature; how would you have behaved in their Circumstances? Can it be expected they should Smile upon you while they labour under such an Odium by yr. means, Should they Smile, Such Smiles would be construed by a discerning Mind as the sure Indication of Revenge; of that cruel Passion wch. I dont Say you must be Satisfyd finds no harbour with any of that Family. To Still the Rumour if impossible & bury this affair in much desird Oblivion is impossible, but it is not impossible to cease from making Misrepresentations, nor yet to contradict those that are you have made, what signifys private confessions especially when they dont reach the Main Greivance vizt. your being forced by the Family into the affair? Will these private acknowledgements alter the minds of People? Or can the Family feell easy in their minds while such Remours prevail, here Sr. is the Core, I have display'd this Matter purely that you may see the manner in which it is apprenhended, & I do most Sincerely Condole with you (notwithstanding the insults you have or may see fit to cast on me) in this Unhappy Occurence, and wish it was in my power to End it. Reputation is dearer than Life, Honour is like the apple of our Eye, either of which being Wounded are with difficulty restored; & it is of the greatest Importance to a Young Man in his first Setting out to proceed with Caution, reall plain hearted Freinds are thus much wanted however slighted, & when you lived long enough to have gaind any Experience from the Rebuffs of Life the Substance of this Letter will affect you more than it may now, at present I hope it will stimultake some such Reflections as may be Serviceable to you. I have purposely avoided meddling with the dispute & make this represention to you because I thought it was necessary & thought that no Body else wold. How far your Natural Disposition inclines You to Slander & tale bearing I take not upon me to determine & how far yr. Conduct Since you have been for yr. Self hath had a tendency to introduce you to Esteem Honour & Riches the Event will prove, till those things are settled it is hardly worth while to quarrel with Dr. McKinstry & his wife that Family for any Supposed Speeches made by them. If you choose to carry on the Dispute you'll act yr. own pleasure, but I desire my name may not be mentioned in it as I have nothing to do with it, if you treat me with Civility I shall return the Same having no Sort of Grudge agst. you & being your Freind & hble. serv.,
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I have ever since I saw you been expectg. to receive the money I promised you, & have more particularly been soliciting it since your Messenger arrived, but alass, it is not yet come about! Mr. Hancock's Aunt Henchman's1 lying at the point of Death, has prevented my receiving it of him as I expected, however after repeated appointments of Days & hours (Courtier like) He this morng. send me a Card informing me that if possible he would let me have it to Day; If therefore Deacon Luscomb & Capt. Cobb should both go out of Town before I accomplish it depend upon it by The first safe conveyance, or to the next Messenger you may think fit to trust it with.
In the mean Time, please to receive of Crossman the money of Capt. Andrews if he has got it advising me of it & giving him a Receipt for me. I am yours &c.
John Hancock (1736/7–1793) headed his late uncle Thomas Hancock's mercantile firm in Boston from 1764. His "Aunt Henchman" was Thomas Hancock's mother-in-law, Elizabeth (Gerrish) Henchman (1693–1767), who died on Mar. 6, 1767, aged 73 years (Boston Evening-Post, Mar. 9, 1767).
I1 take up my Pen in doubt whether to act or not. Modesty on the one hand forbids, Gratitude on the other entiseth; however it being my Duty to return you my most heart thanks for the notice you have taken of me, in granting me your Favour of the 20ult:,2 I imbrace this oppertunity, relying intstrike a damp upon one, who was oblig'd to ware the Yoke in his Youth, which was the reason of my departing from Taunton so soon. You observe in yours something concerning my Honour, What shou'd I have done, my Friend, if I had not proceed'd thus? E'en the meanest Vagabond upon the Earth wou'd have dispis'd me. Honour it was indeed on which dependend all my future happiness, and had I refus'd this, I shou'd never have expected any more peace from Men whatever I shou'd from God. However, it is past, and as Pope says "Here then we rest". In the Freedoms of conversation which you used with me concerning the difficulty's of Life you observe that you little thought that the Crisis was so nigh, and that I must needs feel what you said, but I can assure you that few were the Emotions that it caused in me, and the thought of it's being so nigh was far from me. The reason of my expressing so much anxiety for life in our conversation, was not that I wanted to git prepar'd for a Wife (Asides a wife, that's a big name, I must clear my throut for that, Aham then) but that whether fortune wou'd be propitious, and not to set their smoaking in the chimney corner, which I am certain has been the ruining of Thousands, but to proceed, You observe that Man's life is a Subject of much Speculation to you, then, no doubt, I have had the fortune to pertake of it, and I suppose a very curious Subject it has been. As to Rebuff's I never had the good luck to have one, & they being the means of many a Man's Greatness, I doubt whether they have not been the means of ruining as many. I am confess'd a Husband, Worthy Sr., at your Service, & which, no doubt, was very dejecting to my friends, and much more so to my Parents, & as you take notice it wou'd been better to have deferr'd it for a few years, but if it had, God knows I shou'd have made neither an Organist or Physician. You are pleas'd to compare the Musick of a wedded life to that of an Organ, tho' vastly superior, if so, I greatly wonder Sr. you being a great Musician, that you have not suppli'd yourself with an Instrument before now, but as you observe, excuse the freedom of speech, many a man has owed his greatness to a Rebuff. Marriage is honourble, as the Apostle402say's, & if am allow'd to give my opinion, I think's it is as agreeable, tho' their may be some objection offer'd, to a person in my situation because I am not troubled with a wife every night, for one visit a Month is, or must be, at present Satisfactory. As to being embaras'd in my mind, to speak to you as a real Friend, big indeed have been the reflections upon the past time, & how much more so, must those be of the Future, but to thro' aside these commotions, I am determin'd to be content in whatever state Providence see's fit to place me, and as I am at present seated at the feet of Hippocrates it will be my greatest endeavour, to find that Quoddam commune vinculum,3 & make myself, if possible, in a small Degree, master of the Theory, before I enter upon the Practice, and as the time is but short that I have to stay here I shall improve it with the greater Diligence, throughing aside, in a great measure, the affairs of a Domestic life, & strive, with the help of God, to shew the difference between a regular Phyn. & the opposite, tho', no doubt, that has been the determination of many who are of the Opposite.
Your advise, Worthy Sr., always was & always will be highly priz'd by him, who thinks it, without a Compliment, his greatest honour to have an acquaintance with one who he has reason to think is the greatest of Friends, & as such I hope always to find you. Excuse my not being more particular, as I have hardly time to write my name & much more a letter, as their are two Young Gentln. living with me and all in one Chamber, wch. makes it very difficult, and is the reason of my not writing before but as their being gone out this Evening afford'd me an oppertunity, wch. I receive'd wth. pleasure. Hopeing you'll overlook mistake's, it being wrote in great haste and now seeing the Evening is almost spent, it being just upon twelve I take the Freedom to subscribe myself Your Sincere Friend & Greatly Obliged Humble Servant,
Pleas'd to give my Duty to my Parents, and compliments to all inquring Friends perticular the Dr. and Lady. Sr. Adieu!
David Cobb (1748–1830), born at Attleborough, the son of Capt. Thomas and Lydia (Leonard) Cobb and the brother of RTP's future wife, Sally Cobb. He married Eleanor, daughter of Ebenezer and Eunice (Cook) Bradish, of the Blue Anchor Tavern, in Cambridge. Clifford K. Shipton in his fine sketch of Cobb points out that "the first child of David and Eleanor was born ten days after the letter to Paine." David Cobb finished his apprenticeship in medicine under Doctor Joseph Osgood of Andover in May 1767 and opened his practice in Taunton. Never completely happy in his medical403 career, Cobb became active in politics, served as lieutenant colonel of the 16th Massachusetts Continentals in the American Revolution, and became an aide-de-camp to General Washington. In 1785, he was appointed a major general of militia and took an active part in putting down Shays's Rebellion. After serving a term in Congress, 1793–1795, Cobb became the resident agent for William Bingham, who had purchased a large tract of land in Maine. After some 25 years in Goldsborough, Maine, Cobb returned to Taunton, where he spent his remaining years (Sibley's Harvard Graduates, 16:337–351).
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