March 2d. 1767 Sr.,

Dr. McKinstry has disclos'd to me a Letter wch. he recd. from you being moved thereto because a very perticular notice is therein taken of me & my Conduct; & is further justify'd in so doing in that he has undoubtedly as good a right to Shew the Letter after he had recd. it as you had before you sent it, wch. that you did is evident for that it is not in396yr. handwriting & so must at least pass under the inspection of Some other person if there was not a Consultation in the Composition. In yr. P:S you desire an Answer, most surely I have a right to answer what relates to my self, & as the Dr. declines meddling with the affair (& I think for wise reasons) I shall may take Notice of a few things by way of answer to the whole. Your Lugging me into this Dispute is just like your Conduct towards me in the Vizary you made before this now in dispute yr. indiscreett behaviour & unguarded speeches was such as creatd me some trouble & obliged me to naturally produced Coldness towards you since which yr. peculiar turn of Mind & Disposition so very manifest by yr. Speeches & Behaviour have Satisfyed induced me to think that no Satisfaction can arise from an Acquaintance & that the Peace & Safety of him who is not disposed to Quarrelling consists in having Nothing to do with you. I am not Sensible that I have neglegted the common Civilitys of Life towards you, if my Complaisance has ever gone beyond that, you'll consider every one has a right to choose his own Company, & phaps. if I had Shown you the Curtesy you seem to expect you wold have construed it as Submission in me to prevent your putting into Execution yr. Threatnings to lick me & if my Neglect of you has been tinctured with some Indignation of those parts of yr. Conduct which have not been "Christian" nor even civil, or honest, upon second thought you will not say "that I am bigotted to my own Way" & "That such Conduct is not the Christian." What I said to you at yr. house was the reall Sentiments of my heart, since wch. nothing has been done on my side that I know off to provoke you, tho' I have recd. some very cutting aspersions from among you, Whatever force you may think there is in yr. Conduct towards me I assure you it only moves my Pity, a much greater Pity towards you than you may be aware off & a Pity arising from a much greater regard to yr. Welfare than yr. Giddiness at present will allow you to think off. As a Scholar it would have been Natural for me to have associated with you & Shewn you respect had you conducted like one; & as a Young Gentleman just entring upon the perplexing Scenes of Life & destitute of your tender Parents to consult with & advise you, I should have thought it my duty to have assisted you according to my abilitys had it not appeared you thought your self possessed of that knowldge which other People gain only by long Experience & hazards; a very Sincere Specimen of my disposition this way I think I gave you at Dr. McKinstrys, thus much for yr. Conjectures about my Conduct, towards you. I would397only Add that I am not nor ever was inimical to you or any of yr. Family & should be as free to do you a kindness as ever, being determin'd as far as in me lies to deserve no ill treatment let me recieve what I will. With Regard to the rest of yr. Letter in Freindship to you I must a few observations on it that you may know just how the matter turns. It seems to be founded on the Supposition of an Uneasiness between that Family & your Self, or rather as you express it between yourself & that Family, if that be all that troubles you I dare say you may make yr. self really easy, for with regard to them I dare say trust there is no Uneasiness unless What Naturally arises from a disdain of Such Conduct & Compassion towards yr. person; An unhappy affair truly; rash & inconsiderate was yr. Conduct you Confess, imprudent have been the Speeches you have made on the Occasion you acknowledge; & having done this you exclaim of hard usage; but the difficulty doth lay here, the Rumour is gone forth, trumpetted by yr. self from whom only the first knowledge of the affair matter took air, you could not keep yr. own Council, if you had it might have been Settled among yr. Selves & buried in Oblivion, but this phps. you reckon as part of yr. rashness; 1 but however sorry you are for yr. Rashness now, in the time of it you endeavur'd to extenuate it if not exculpate yr. self by throwing the blame on the Ladys freinds, & roundly asserterd to this in Substance that they Sollicited you to the match, that you were inveigled by them, that they took advantage of yr. youth & in Short that you did not know what you did but was like a Log pushed down Stream; & further have gone on to tell the conversation and the civility shown them you at Norton to their disadvantage. All this hath been publickly talk'd off & some have been induced by yr. plausible account of the Matter to believe & Say very disrespectful things of that Family in this affair & of Some of them on whom you are very bitter in yr. Letter in a perticular manner, & I have been obliged Repeatedly to encounter? there Representations of the Matters, & not always with Success, I might have said abusive Representations for had they been strictly true which would 2 justify yr. Comparing yr. Self to a Log you had all sorts of occasions to tell it till they censured yr. not complying. After all this you expostulate must a Man dye for one peice of Rashness &c. &c. &c. & then go on to Set forth what a flame you found & what Proclamations of Disdain when you returned from yr. Journey; what have the Family to do with all this; the truth of the Matter is, that after you had blaz'd it abroad & made it ten times worse by the398Manner in which you excused yr. self, any person who was not lost to Honour cry'd fye upon you, you was disdain'd for a peice of misconduct which never could have been known if it had not been yr. own fault; that Family have raisd no Clamours agt. you, indeed you did not give them the opportunity; if any of them have expressed themselves with any degree of resentment agt. you, let the World judge whether it was any thing equall to the Provocations, & especially when you attack'd their Conduct in so very delicate a point one would think their tameness could arise from nothing but the Opinion they had of their Enemy, & what is very Surprizing in the midst of all yr. Confessions you Still go on with the same method of Excuse by recriminating on the family Mr. Thos. Leonard with regard to which I would just observe Say over & above the Observations I have made on their Expressions, that you would be free from the charge of Rashness if you should neglect to find fault with him for calling you a Lyar (if he did) till you have made out the Essential difference between Lying & Promise Braking, & untill you have made out that you were over perswaded by that Family to make the addresses you did; or for saying that your being treated like a Gentleman at their House was so contrary to yr. taste & Disposition that you could not bear it & so left the House, untill you have proved that you behaved as much like a Gentleman as you was treated there & that you left in a genteel manner as for yr. company yr. Education & the Compy. you have kept with him, it is only saying what advantages you have had for being a Gentleman without proving that was. Neither ought you to find fault with his calling you a fooll till you make it appear that your own Acct. of the whole will excuse you from it. All these things you propose should be forgotten as mere rashnesses, & after some acknowledgments you ask "What more can or Shall I say by way of Retribution?" They will answer you by asking a Question; what shall we do to still the Clamour that is gone forth by yr. imprudence to the disadvantage of us both, if People will disdain you for yr. Conduct can we help that & can we Wipe off the Odium you have brought in the Family? Let me tell you Sr. that Perhaps the only way you have to make Retribution to that Lady is to satisfy acknowledge to the World that yr. Slighting her is no Disgrace, some speeches you have made on that Occasion unless you are lost to Humanity must make you blush at Midnight does not this assessment? question of yrs. Suggest an answer to you. Compensation is the Only Retribution that can be made, & in this Case, Oblivion399is the best Compensation, the Injury arises only from the Rumour & when the Rumour is forgot the Wound will be heald in a genrous Mind. Pray Sr. enter into yr. own breast & consult the Workings of human Nature; how would you have behaved in their Circumstances? Can it be expected they should Smile upon you while they labour under such an Odium by yr. means, Should they Smile, Such Smiles would be construed by a discerning Mind as the sure Indication of Revenge; of that cruel Passion wch. I dont Say you must be Satisfyd finds no harbour with any of that Family. To Still the Rumour if impossible & bury this affair in much desird Oblivion is impossible, but it is not impossible to cease from making Misrepresentations, nor yet to contradict those that are you have made, what signifys private confessions especially when they dont reach the Main Greivance vizt. your being forced by the Family into the affair? Will these private acknowledgements alter the minds of People? Or can the Family feell easy in their minds while such Remours prevail, here Sr. is the Core, I have display'd this Matter purely that you may see the manner in which it is apprenhended, & I do most Sincerely Condole with you (notwithstanding the insults you have or may see fit to cast on me) in this Unhappy Occurence, and wish it was in my power to End it. Reputation is dearer than Life, Honour is like the apple of our Eye, either of which being Wounded are with difficulty restored; & it is of the greatest Importance to a Young Man in his first Setting out to proceed with Caution, reall plain hearted Freinds are thus much wanted however slighted, & when you lived long enough to have gaind any Experience from the Rebuffs of Life the Substance of this Letter will affect you more than it may now, at present I hope it will stimulate you to take some such Reflections as may be Serviceable to you. I have purposely avoided meddling with the dispute & make this represention to you because I thought it was necessary & thought that no Body else wold. How far your Natural Disposition inclines You to Slander & tale bearing I take not upon me to determine & how far yr. Conduct Since you have been for yr. Self hath had a tendency to introduce you to Esteem Honour & Riches the Event will prove, till those things are settled it is hardly worth while to quarrel with Dr. McKinstry & his wife that Family for any Supposed Speeches made by them. If you choose to carry on the Dispute you'll act yr. own pleasure, but I desire my name may not be mentioned in it as I have nothing to do with it, if you treat me with Civility I shall return the Same having no Sort of Grudge agst. you & being your Freind & hble. serv.,

Dft ; endorsed in another hand: "March 2. 1767. Letters of Expostulation & Reproof."

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