January 1 1760 Respected Freinds,1

My Pen which Like a native of Switzerland has long been devoted to the service of a foreign Power, at the call of Hymen's lute returns a willing Subject to the Cause of Freindship; but what offering shall I bring? Sensible of the dignity of this occasion my mind wanders on a thousand Subjects like a weak body staggering under a heavy Load; but verily I must take a modern expedient, & finding no fruits of natural growth, treat you with a cook'd up Dish of foreign Productions, & in short for want of sentiments pertinent to this occasion amuse your Attention by telling you a story; And indeed I the more hope your forgiveness in this matter as it is the Conclusion, or at least some further perticulars relating to the Prince & Hermit whose history I begun Some time ago;2 I think I then ended with their returning to their respective Habitations; I have since met with the Person who gave me the first account & he proceeded in the Story as follows.

Our Hermit whose chief delight was in the beautys of Nature, & the improvement of moral accomplishments, mus'd much on the Amiable Desdemona, he veiwd her as one of those rare productions, which demand the attention of every Philosopher & the Tribute of every ones assistence, with this consideration he was preparing to offer her the product of his laborious Experience, that while she enjoy'd the benefit she might Avoid the toil; But all this while it seems our Knight was affected if not in a different, yet in a more extensive manner by the Amiable Princess; his Bosom full ripened to all the tenderness of Passion was melted in the warmth of Love by those qualifications which only moved the Esteem of the Hermit, but tho' the Prince was thus affected yet he knew the Art of Love as well as he felt the Power, therefore tho' he often discoursed with the Hermit on his beloved Princess, yet he affected a coldness that so he might draw forth his whole sentiment concerning her. Strange is the Mistery of Love, we see a thousand beautys in a Person who displays them to our Freind, which if they had been apply'd directly to our selves would have lost their force; the Prince well skill'd in this made no direct approaches to the Princess but exerted himself to the other branches of the family, by this means recommending himself to the Princess who could but observe how well qualified he was for social life, having an impartial view of those excellencys which had they been directly apply'd would but166have appear'd like Artifice & design, thus convinced, thus warmed she felt the Genial Passion rise & yeilded to the addresses of his Love.

While these matters were thus transacting, the Hermit was at a distance Contemplating in his Cell; the rumours of so great an Event soon reach'd his Ears, Surpriz'd he was 'tis true, but not at the Occurrence (for he knew that kindred Souls must meet) but at the unparralled Artifice of the Prince; thus the sudden Conjunction of some heavenly Bodys, tho' it baffle the skill of the Attentive Astronomer, yet rejoyces him in the Prospect of its desired influence; our Hermit could no longer retire from this joyous Occasion, but immediately betook himself to the Royal Palace, there dignity of State gave place to Hymeneal Joys, & the Power to Rule was exchang'd for the desire to please; he was the More at a loss how to behave on this Occasion as he felt in his mind the disappointment of his Calculation, which made it difficult to connect this with his last visit, if he felt any other disapointment he conceal'd it to himself, well knowing as he express'd it that he who expect improper events must submit to an adequate punishment; He therefore spirited himself as much for the Occasion as the System of his Life & his frozen Age would admit, but finding the wish'd for Event arrived vizt. the settled Happines of the Prince & Princess he thought he had no further business here than to pronounce his venerable blessing & leave them to the Enjoyment of it. Accordingly the new married Couple in the presence of a few freinds gave attention to the Hermit who utter'd himself as follows.

I hope it will not disgust you or alleviate these Joys that you see here with my wither'd aspect at this festivous Solemnity, true it paints forth to you what 'ere long you must be when Youth's rapid tide shall cease to flow & the sallies of Passion regale your Hearts no more. Yet the droppings of my speech like the chilling dew of Midnight, may prepare the Buds of your Joy to endure the heat of the rising Sun; nor wonder if I Who never entered the Connubial State should direct to reach its joys or shun its troubles; perhaps I may fall short; yet it may not disappoint you to practice the little I attempt to discribe, as it is deduced from the nature of the state, & the many Observations I have made, & many communicated to me from those engaged in it. You'll observe then that you are now entering a state where you will find new Joys & new Sorrows, new Expectations & new disappointments, new dutys & new Interests; many old habits of Pleasure must be altered, & many different & some opposite ones must be acquired; Life like a River that alters its channel will be broken by167different Rocks, confin'd by different Banks & must require time to make its New Course agreable. Nature has deeply rooted in our Constitutions a desire for social Life in the gratification of which consists the heighth of human Pleasure; but Such is the depraved State of our present Scituation that like all other valuable enjoyments it can't be obtain'd without Labour & Art. The Earth no longer as of old produces its precious fruits Spontaneous, but requires the labour & skill of the husbandman, and Human Minds tho' form'd in the Image of their Maker cannot reap the sweets of Life without Care & attention; but to avoid this Labour & yet gratify our implanted desires we make innumerable Efforts. While single we ramble from Object to Object caressing those only who favour us, & discarding those who neglect to sacrifice to our perticular desires, thus at Liberty to alter our Companions we take no Pains to form any regular pleasures by conforming ourselves, like travellers they view the Produce of Nature, passing anxiously by what is disagreeable & pertake only of delightfull Scenes, but tho' they flatter themselves with the pleasures of continual variety, yet loose that true relish to the human Mind of calling something our own, that exquisite gratification which results from the exertion of our tenderest affections on a Worthy Object, this only can be found in Wedlock, Whereas in a Garden we must form its beautys by Labour & attention, suppressing every irregularity, cultivating every excellence & thus collect in one Person what we could expect to find in the whole World. Our Social desires like the Tree, if often transplanted will never florish for want of Root, but when once settled in a proper Soil rejoices in its culture & repays abundantly the care of the 'Tiller. They who by attention & Care arrive to this, enjoy a World made better, at once possess the collected Sweets of Life & avoid innumerable troubles & disappointments which assault those who seek the same Joys as they lay loose in life; and tho we exchange a State of unconfind Liberty for a life of constant conformity, yet there are superiour Joys resulting, & we have this further Consideration to reponderate that they are of our own making. Thus he who by Labour & Art refines the Golden Oar, collects its Purity to a solid Mass which before was mixt with Dross & Conterfeits. Here then youll observe the true difference between the States, the single state has naturally some pleasure as it is unconfin'd, the married as naturally some uneasiness as it must be confined. The single state has much reall deficiency, which is reall misery, as it cant supply us with the most natural Joys & is fix'd in none, the married state is capable of the168most natural Pleasures & of being improved to the Capacity of our Natures; hence then we see the married state excells the single one only as it is improved for naturally it is worse, this suggests to us then the intollerable scituation of those who neglect to cultivate the pleasures of the Married State. Debarr'd the Joys they have forsaken they loose those of the State where they are arrived, & thus partaking the happiness of neither reap the Sorrows of both. Wedlock really is like encreasing our stock in Trade where the chance of loosing by neglect is allways in proportion to that of gaining by Industry with this further disadvantage, the possibility of becoming proportionally embarrass'd.

This then introduces the grand Question, how shall we thus improve this State? How find its joys, how shun its Sorrows & how possess that Satisfaction in it for which only we would part with Liberty? The answer most commonly given to this enquiry is that we must Love, but this seems rather to be the Effect desired than the cause that produces it. It is not in our power to Love, for that implys some good quality in the Object, or if it be fancy it is still less in our Power. Perhaps we shall best determine on some rules to obtain it by observing the common failings that destroy it; the most obvious are, that we enter this state with raised expectations. We forget the frailtys of human Nature & demand from this State of the greatest trial the strictest adherance to Truth; again we are too apt to misplace our Conduct, in Courtship we feast our selves on imaginary Joys, we exert ourselves to adore each other without ever examining our mutual Qualifications, we anticipate the Beneficence of the married State & transplant the bitter work of examination & Trial to a soil where it should never grow, thus we revell on borrowed Joys for which we may pay dear when it is too late to alter it & having trespass'd on the sweet delusion of Wedlock reap the bitter chagrin of Courtship thrô Life; a doleful Comment on that saying of the wise man "first vow & then consider."

We moreover esteem ourselves as parting with liberty & so demand uncommon Joys as our merited recompence, each one veiws his Partner as bound to please 'em & so accept the greatest kindnesses with the same coldness as we receive a debt, if disappointed we conceive our selves wronged & as it is unexpected & unavoidable the resentment is in proportion and the remorse intollerable. Permit me then to consider this last somewt. more critically. Each one looks on his Partners goodness as a Debt. If so then the Debts are mutual & consequently ballance each169other, neither of them can say to the other that they owe any Goodness which they do not owe themselves, if so then they are as much obliged to overlook a failing as the other was not to have committed it, so that all this great dispute of debt & obligation really terminates in something opposite to what is commonly understood vizt. the duty of Beneficence which consults the best good of its Object & the Law of Charity which covers a Multitude of failings; but tho' the Obligations to Goodness in the largest sence are mutual, yet there is one duty which is more expecially encumbent on the Woman & that is Condescention; but this is not perculiar to the Married State, it is a duty that arises from the Nature of all Society that some one must be head to determine in matters of doubt, & be as it were the Pilot of the Community, in all Societys the wisest & most powerful are supposed to govern, & Nature by forming the Woman more delicate & timorous & less able to bear the perplexitys of Government & more formed to please, has implicitely Subjoined this duty, that she obey him in all reasonable Condescention whom she has chosen for a Partner as on him lies the chief burthen of Life & the different Course of a Man's living best qualifys him to govern.

From all this let us now endeavour to collect some rules of Conduct, & I imagine we shall find them no ways severe in their Nature, such as in the common state of life we are obliged in Some Measure to observe where the fruits of them will not reach our desires & therefore should be no ways irksome in a state whose high relish'd Joys depend on the observance of them. And for a foundation it is absolutely necessary that each Party pay a due regard to the Rules of Moral Virtue, for how can we expect those to be faithful to us who rebell against Universal Truth, besides, the performance of gen'rall Dutys renders a Person valuable & worthy & this of course must raise An Esteem in all that behold it; but there are none without many faults & besides what is Another's Worth if it be not apply'd to me, this introduces that Cardinal Virtue in the practice of which Tully said we approach the nearest to the immortal Gods & which is really the corner stone of Social Happiness, I mean Beneficence by which we shall apply all our Goodness to the Partner of our Life. Thus we should exert ourselves towards them in all Acts of Kindness consulting all their reasonable inclinations & even Surprizing them with a gratification before they expected, We should be cautious of provoking their failings, avoiding every occasion of putting their Goodness to a tryal. The State is entered, it is in vain to look back, why would we try the Goodness170of that, which if it fail in Proof we cannot alter, & why would we discover those failings which are best mended by concealment, & when to believe our Partner is good may answer the same end as tho they were so' especially if we consider furthermore that multitudes of uneasinesses arise from mere frailtys when there may be Beneficence at Bottom & their failings may be owing to the Suddenness or strength of the tryal. Such would be kind if their Weakness would let them, if so the fault is really their's who gave the Tryal & they deserve the fate of those who burthen a feeble Limb. Every one has some peculiar darling foible either mingled in their Constitutions or rooted by Obstinate habit which perhaps too may be but trifling, but yet for the indulgence of which they will freely yeild in matters of greater importance, but if thwarted, like one drop of Poison it corrodes & sours their whole disposition, the most miserable Specimen of Wedlock has arisen from the meerest trifle. To consult these peculiaritys should be our fixt attention they must have but little regard for their Peace who will not buy it so cheap, especially when we consider that to flatter a Person in their beloved humour is like inchantment to the soul, it opens every Avenue to the Heart & gives us the intire Command of the affection. Observe further that actions are to us as well what we take them to be as what they were designed for, & a severe Construction of some trivial failure may do more hurt than the commission of a great one. 'Tis just so with regard to an intended kindness, if coldly received it disappoints the actor, & raises the same disgust in their breast, as would have been excited in the Mind of the other if they had been disappointed of an expected good office; recieve therefore Kindnesses as Jewells entrusted, for which we must make speedy return without discounting a former ballance, the Idea of Debt must for ever vanish, & in the room thereof we should substitute some Notion like that of a rich Bank, where every one is Studious rather to encrease his Principal than draw on his Stock.

But it may be said there are sometimes failings so detrimental in their Consequence that without the amendment of them the Affairs of Life cannot be conducted with the desired Success. Here a Reformation is necessary, & the rule of Beneficence wch. we have settled will dispose to such Methods to be used to bring it about as from the disposition of the Person & the nature of the fault will have the most natural tendency & be the least liable to make two Evils of one. Reproof is at once the fair fruit, the just debt, & the dangerous token of Freindship. Time, Place,171& manner, render it Safe pleasing & salubrious as in the pruning a Tree or the Amputating a Limb these must all be consulted, least while we mean only to crop off a defective Member we destroy the main Body. It is to the Mind what Medicine is to the Body which they say if applied at the intermission of the disease may effect a Cure, but if at the heighth does but enrage it. These Rules take place in Common life but beside the Married State has some advantages which a single one can seldom boast, in this there are soft Moments when the warmth of tender Passion dissolves the Obstinacy of the Soul, & the pleasure we taste in social harmony makes us desire to encrease it. This renders us capable of seeing our failings which impede it & of fixing Resolutions to Amend them. The Soul thus opned lays fair for any Impression, Conviction sinks unresisted. The Artful & mercenary have used these Opportunitys with great Success for the basest purposes, & if the Generous & beneficent would improve them to mend the Manners the Success might be as great & the Joy inexhaustible.

But to conclude all where we first set out, there is a great Analogy between the Moral & the Married Life or rather the latter is but a Branch of the former, for as they who are not careful to observe the Dutys of Religion can expect none of its regular Joys, so neither can the heedless Partners of Wedlock pertake its bliss. Tis true such Persons may enjoy Pleasure from the meer Effects of natural Constitution & temper, but as they are utterly uncertain because they must be suited, so neither are they so exquisite, but a virtuous Principle excites to instant Duty, calls Knowledge to its assistence, & receives Strength from every Circumstance of Life, consults every Opportunity of avoiding Evil & promoting Good, directs the Passions in their proper Channels & thus produces the most Lasting felicity.

Let us now suppose the Observance of such like Rules & at one glance we see, nay we fell how it rivetts the Esteem that was before begun & furthermore raises a continual desire, this Desire is truly Love, which when thus enkindled, enobles the Soul, softens the Manners & is like a Medium to our senses thro' which everything appears agreable & we percieve nothing that offends. By this time it has become the principle of Action when really itself is but the effect of good behaviour. The Labour is at an End, the task is no longer druggery nor the Path confinement; the Machine is Compleated & however difficult in its formation yet now moves by its own composition. Like Grammarians we are struck with a172thousand beautiful Constructions without regarding the painful Rules that taught them. We feell our selves engaged in perpetual kindness toward each a Partner without ever considering the Reason or the Duty; the Soul solaces itself in the Possession of its endeared Treasure, percieves excellencys, imagines happiness which it can find no where else & thus at last is arrived at this extent of Social Felicity.

And now my young Freinds (Continued the Hermit) I doubt not but you feell your selves actuated by such like & even more Noble Rules, may they have their full Influence on your Conduct, may the present Buds that bloom so fresh & promise so fair be encreased & ripened to the full grown fruits of the richest Love, may the Doves of Venus waft you above the troubles of this State; may the Bonds of Hymen prove a Cord of silk; may gentle *Ilithyia cheer your Lives and *Lucina Patroness of teeming Mothers protect your desired Ofspring, may these pleasures charm you private hours, while Godlike Reason conducts you in every Action through this State, till the joys of Another inexpressibly more perfect shall break forth upon you & o'erwhelm these present Pleasures as the rising Sun absorbs the brightest starrs."

Here ended the Hermit & the new made Pair, warm'd with the Spirit of his Sentiment paid that Obeisance which is due to Age, Gravity & so much Affection, the Hermit took his leave in the tenderest Manner & left them to the Joys of rip'ned Love.

Here my Freind being interrupted gave me no further Accont of these Personages, & having transmitted this long Story to you I hope you'll excuse Any Observations of my own, if the relation please you, you'll take proper Notice of it, if not, remember 'tis but a Fable. I shall therefore now conclude by asking your excuse for thus intruding on your Patience & subjoining my heartiest Wishes for your best Welfare Subscribe your Freind & hble. Servt.,

RTP

P.S. Pray excuse the badness of this writing for I had not time to write better or I should have sent it much sooner.

*"Two Goddesses which the Antient Poets supposed to preside over Connubial Joys & Child bearing."

RC ; addressed: "To George Leonard junr. Esqr. & Lady"; endorsed. A draft of this letter is also in the RTP Papers.

173 1.

George Leonard married Experience, daughter of Samuel and Prudence (Williams) White, in Norton, Mass., on Nov. 27, 1759.

2.

See RTP to George Leonard under date June? 1755?

Lancaster Jany. the 14 1759 1760 Sr.,

I this moment recd. your Letter & have got a man to go tomorrow & acquaint Page1 but believe he cant be at Boston before Wednesday & I should be glad you would have it put off till Wednesday. If it is possible get it Settled this week for it will be very expensive living in Boston. If it is any thing should happen that the Reffee. cannot attend it you may get the witnesses Sworn so that Page nor the Witnesses may not go again. Do pay your Compts. to Mrs. Prince & get my Papers so that I may have them this Week for I want them very much. They are all tied up together and are nothing but Deeds so that there can be no difficulty in finding them. I am Srr. yr. hble. Servt.

ABEL WILLARD

RC ; addressed: "To Mr. Robert Treat Paine, in Boston"; endorsed. Notes in RTP's hand on the verso: She resolv'd never to have Any Scores? again undeciphered code. never made any Contract to be their Customer I credit of the Negro of the Boy undeciphered code

1.

Jonathan Page and Richard Reed referred an action between them from Worcester Superior Court, Sept. 1759, to Thomas Whiting, Capt. John Gibson, and Stephen Hall as referees. The referees met at Charlestown, Jan. 30, 1760 and assessed Reed £6.12.0 in damage and costs (Suffolk Files, no. 80438).

Boston January 23, 1760 Dear Eunice,

This is to come by I don't know who, but as my thoughts are at this present time most unavoidably as well as agreably taken up with the thoughts of you, I dont know but I had as good spend my time in writing to you as in barely musing. By that means my pleasure may be rendered more regular & be furthermore advanced by that encrease that174arises from Communication; I feel vastly gratify'd to see you per varios Casus, per tot discrimina rerum,1 at last arrived to so agreable a visit as you at present enjoy. That Latin plagues you I know but you Girls are so vastly unletter'd that yr. Sampler never reaches so far; & I scorn to write french least my Empire of Learning should be disputed if not distroy'd before my eyes, by one who is never wanting to propagate Tyranny. But what's this to the purpose. I say that your present scituation so nearly resembles that of yr. late Paradise that you can't regrett your being dragged from it as you were; however there is some sensible odds too, (Comparisons you know raise a relish) the young Ladies of the house there were more agreable, & the beautifed whiteness of the snow was not distroyd by passengers. Alass Innocence is only safe in retirement; as for the Damsels where you are they'll inflame you with Love unless you've more Command of yr. Passions than some I know off. However 'twill be of the Seraphic Sort & if you are but sufficiently refined you'll blaze like a Cherubim. Nevertheless such is the Effect of it upon our depraved Constitution that like an overdose of the most generous Wine it intoxicates, makes us reel & sometimes fall; so that the Evil we would shun may be effected by the very means of avoiding it & as in the India House, the Brain may be stunnd by the too great scent of that spice a small flavour of which would have refreshed it, thus Love the greatest Cordial & most dreaded Evil must be sparingly indulged especially in the first buddings of Youth, Car dans cet âge it faut bein peu de chose pour nuire à la puretè & a l'innocence d'un jeune fille: c'est un fleur tendre & delicate, que le moindre souffle emporte peut corrompre & faire perir en un moment.2

I don't remember that I had any particular design in writing this letter. If I had I have lost it; however proceed in the regular Enjoyment of life & let not the present fruition of any transitory happiness make so great an impression on yr. Mind as to cause any uneasiness at the loss of it.

Present my respects to Mr. Smith and lady. As for the young Ladys I neither know what to say to them nor of them.3 I veiw them as Ames did the Starrs when he brake out into this Rapture,

Strange doubts arise in my Enquiring Mind O were I but from Cumbrous Earth refind I would attempt on Airy fancy's Wings Urg'd on by Lightnings tempered Springs 175 To mount the Skies & long the Milky Way Where Numerous Worlds now half discovered lay Not far beyond our feeble Ken of Sight Scattering on us some fragments of their Light I'd range the System of these fixed Starrs Old Saturn view, with Jupiter & Mars Venus's shining Orb visit would I Nor unobserved pass nimble Mercury I'd see what creatures peopled these abodes Were men more blessed or whether Demi Gods, After I had these Worlds & people known I'd once return to visit this our own To tell Mankind what Journey I had been And what amazing wonder I had seen But O this Ponderous Mass of Earth I've got, Chains down my soul to one inferiour Spot Ingorance contracts my longing eager Sight Intensely fix'd on yonder Worlds of Light To find Some Path the Mighty Richard } trod Newton } Who on the Verge of the Creation stood &c.4

however, you'll present Compliments & desire them not to write to me for I'm endeavoring to bid defiance to the whole sex. My paper's gone & my time has been this long time & so I subscribe yr. Brother

R. T. PAINE

P: S. this is a most ridiculous letter. I send it out of pure laziness not caring to write another.

RC ; addressed: "To Miss Eunice Paine at Weymouth"; endorsed.

1.

"Through various hazards, through so many crises of affairs." Vergil, Æneid, 1:204.

2.

"For in this age few things are truly necessary to nourish the purity and innocence of a young girl. It is a tender and delicate flower, which the least breath carries off, can corrupt, and cause to perish in an instant." Unidentified quotation.

3.

Eunice Paine was apparently visiting the daughters of Rev. William Smith (1707–1783) and his wife, Elizabeth (Quincy) Smith, in Weymouth. One of the daughters, Abigail Smith, was to marry John Adams, and another, Mary, married Richard Cranch. Rev. Smith had succeeded Thomas Paine as the minister of Weymouth (Sibley's Harvard Graduates, 7:588–591).

4.

RTP quotes incorrectly lines from the long poem in Nathanael Ames, An Astronomical Diary, or, an Almanack For the Year of our Lord Christ, 1742 (Boston, 1742).