1765? Miss Nancy,1

It is with surprize I find such repeated Instances of yr. peculiar behaviour towards me, such as can be excus'd only by some great Injury Real or supposed. I have frequently Sought to find out the cause, & with the utmost Candour would endeavour to clear up the mat-313ter, or make Satisfaction, but in vain have I sought it of you; To yr. very peculiar Behaviour in public you have added the aggravating Circumstance of denying me the least hint of the Cause, leaving me to guess at Random for what by the Laws of Civility I'm intitled to the Knowledge of, as tho' your chief design was to create me uneasiness by the bare surmis of an Injury, & what renders your Conduct the more misterious is, the affability with which at Times you entertain me & then without any intervening Circumstance, the very Wind can't be more changed.

As I have no disposition to retalliate the Uneasiness you think to give me, I shall leave the behaviour I speak of to your own recollection, & mean only to make some Observations upon it which you will judge of as you please.

Perhaps you will not believe me if I tell you, that the chief view I have in writing, is to screen you from some Evils which I think will inevitably be the Consequence of your Conduct, but whether your believe me or not, it is a sober deep rivetted Truth; The Regard I had for you (and Regard I have had) was not of that fluttering kind, which Shines at a Tea Table, & exhausts itself in flattery, a Real Concern for your Welfare and a constant attention to your Improvement hath actuated all my Conduct towards you (what the Motives of it were, I shall not mention unless my further vindication makes it necessary) for the Proof of this I must leave you to yr. own Reflection, & if you tell me, as you have done, that I insult you by telling reminding you of these Things, my Answer is ready & I think Satisfactory, that I never did so unless your Treatment render'd it necessary for my own Vindication, as I do at this time' It can be no Insult unless it be true, & if it be true, why do you treat me so ill without telling me the Cause? Is it of Such a Nature that it can't be mended, & for which no Satisfaction can be made? I am sensible at present, neither of them can take place, but without my knowing the Cause what Remedy can be had?

Was your Resentment of a private kind, my chief uneasiness would be for my self, but when you carry your greatest incivilitys into public, rely upon it the Affront is greater to the Company than it is to the person you so weakly aim them at, no person hath a right to break the happiness of Company with their private Peaks, & vent their Rumours in a Company that have nothing to do with it; & judge of it as you please, those who understand good Breeding, will for ever esteem such a person as a Stranger to it without considering the Occasion, as we judge of the bright-314ness of the Sun by its Shining & not by the Objects it Shines upon; And you may depend upon it, a Construction will be put on such Conduct, very different from what you may intend, & from what you would have take place.

If you can possibly Suppose a Hint of this kind is unkind or unjust, then you will behave accordingly; I shall say nothing of that resentment which is naturally enkindled by public Affronts, being determind to support my Charecter, do what you will with your own, but would just Observe to you, that Politeness will justify my taking Notice of public Affronts from you to your Disadvantage, & however tenderly I have treated you on such Occasions hitherto, I can't be answerable for any Sallies for the future.

It is a vain Thing for me to set my Brain to work to guess at the Cause of yr. Behaviour, in gen'rall I can only say I am not conscious of any unkind dishonorable or even indifferent Behaviour towards you, till your very peculiar Behaviour produced indifference. I never but once gave you a rough Word, wch. was when I told you, "you had no manners" which was after repeated public affronts for which you would not Account, & in immediate answer to yr. repeatedly giving me the Lye, it was between our selves & could create no incurable uneasiness; but I have the great Satisfaction to think that I have treated you with Respect & Honour & perhaps have been as serviceable to your Character, (to say nothing of any thing else) as any you have been acquainted with.

This is a tender Point, would to Heavens! you could clearly know how I have treated you abroad, the Occasion, manner & Substance of it, I am certain your Resentment must melt into something very different, unless you have no Passion but the Passion of Anger; & let me tell you whatever Flouts you may make of this, that there are some whose Judgment in this Affair I should most rely on, that are knowing to it; do not think that I am suing for your good Graces, I only mean to free you from such Misapprehensions & misconduct as may prove prejudicial to you, 'tis Generosity, Nobleness & Goodness of Soul only that engages my attention in spight of all other Circumstances. I sat out & am determin'd to persist as far as I am able in a steady adherance to those Principles which the best Judges have recommended, whatever may be yr. Thoughts of them or whatever Inconveniency may attend the practice of them, remembring that Probation is short & Retribution long; I am not sensible I have notoriously lost sight of them in my Conduct towards you & I do315 assure you that if I though I had, the Reflection of it would give me more uneasiness, than it is in yr. Power to create. I have always treated you with Sincerity & Frankness, the only Foundation for a lasting acquaintance, & if the neglect of a superstructure was my fault of Choice, it was yours of Conduct, for in the most unaccountable manner you began with your affronts, such affronts as made it necessary to abate of our Intimacy, & according to the Rule in such Cases I desired the delivery of some Letters I had sent you, your Answers must be fresh in your mind, such answers as must induce me to think you chose the acquaintance, but your affronts have been repeated & encreased to this day & yet you will not deliver them. Pray let me ask you, do you mean to resent with Politeness or Rudeness? If the latter, you hurt your self the most, if the former? Then Scorn to keep any thing from a person you dispise, they are of no value in themselves, no possible Injury can arrive to me from yr. keeping or showing them to all the World, your retaining them therefore, will be construed as an argument of latent regard to the Author, or to a want of Delicacy, If the former be the Reason? Why then this Injurious Treatment, this refusal to clear up a misunderstanding? That is not the way to soften; If the latter, then pray remember that the want of Delicacy will deprive your Resentment of all its Sting? Is this the "Opportunity you wish'd for", & this the Way you improve it "of making Ample returns for all my Kindness?" Pray Consider such Behaviour will disturb the Peace of yr. own mind by rivetting sourness & obstinacy, those Moths to Tranquillity, (for the Angry & Rude Persons suffer the worst) & on the one hand will distroy your much applauded Solitude & on the other hand defeat your desired Caresses from the world: are these Hints the Effects of Resentment & Revenge? Who would be most benefitted by your observance of them, & who suffer most by yr. neglect of them? Believe me I would take a thousand times more pains to serve you than to gratify the least Resentment to which you so expose yr. self; if any hint at any time has been pointed, & explicit, 'twas the Effects of Sincerity, remember the Occasions, recollect yr. self when I first knew you, how Attentive I have been, & what methods I have taken for yr. Improvement, you cant say the means was bad, be the manner as it would, treat me with the same freedom, let me know the Cause of yr. Behaviour, act in Charecter, deliver up all my Letters, this among the rest, treat me with Civility & meet an Ample Return, you will not doubt of this, when you recollect the public Respect & Notice I have shewn you since your msot unaccount-316able Conduct, let our Acquaintance be familiar or transient as you please, but let it be civil; If I had any thing else in view, should I trouble my self in thus writing to you? Can you think me your Enemy when I thus expostulate with a person who has so treated me? Do you think my Anger or my Tenderness is most affected? Was I dispos'd to any thing that would provoke without profit, my Conduct would certainly be different; O Nancy Nancy you want a freind in whose Judgment you could confide, to tell you many things, but Sensible, I am not the person, I will not excite your Passion at the expence of my Pity, for rely upon it that is the only Effect your Anger has on me. I have been long sensible our Intimacy is at an End, let it End honorably, Which can only be done by putting our selves as we were at first, deliver up my Letters.

Thus I have in some measure opened my mind, having cautiously avoided many things which Resentment would have prompted, I heartily wish you every Female Accomplishment of Mind & the gratification of every Rational desire; you shall find my Conduct towards you to be easy & unaffected if you'll explain the cause of yr. Uneasiness, Some Opportunity will offer which I hope you will not fail to comply with, & deliver up all my Letters & say no more about it, if you refuse both of them, I must put such Constructions as naturally arise, & esteem your Anger but a frivoulous pretence.

RC ; addressed: "To Miss Nancy White at Boston"; endorsed in a later hand: "Letter of Expostulation and reproof." The address and the salutation have been crossed out in black ink. There is also a draft of this letter in RTP's hand which does not identify the recipient. The several cancellations in this text are the result of mis-copying the draft, and therefore are not noted.

1.

Anna White (1741–1768) was daughter of Taunton's only other lawyer, Samuel White. She appears occasionally in RTP's diary and correspondence, where she first appears in 1755 when Joseph Cushing writes to RTP and calls her "your Norton Girll Nancie" (July 7, 1755, printed above). On July 30, 1763, RTP noted in his diary: "Rode to Col. Leonards with Miss Nancy Whaite." On Nov. 30 of the same year it was: "Rode to Dighton with Nancy Whaite." On July 16, 1765, he noted: "Dined at Treasurer with Nancy Whaite," but this was the last visit recorded before Anna White married Daniel Leonard in 1767. She died the following year.