A website from the Massachusetts Historical Society; founded 1791.

Robert Treat Paine Papers, Volume 2

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From "Lavinia"

From Ezekiel Barker

18 November 1757
To "Lavinia"
RTP Lavinia
After October 1757?

My Gentle Adviser, Were I to judge from yr. Correctness of Stile, from the strength of Thought, the Poignancy of Expression & the Consistency of yr. Whole Epistle I must accost you as some Masculine Freind, but wn. I observe the engaging delicacy with which it is cloath'd I am no longer at a loss to address you as some rational soul of the finer sex, at once I feel the Reason of Philosopher & the tenderness of a Lady, but Madam permit me to tell you that Philosophers may reason from rong principles & a Lady's tenderness may be ill apply'd. You take it for granted I can Esteem a Lady only for two Reasons either for her knowledge Judgmt. Penetration &c., by wch. I understand the Accomplishmt. of her Mind, or else her Beauty, Mein Shape &c., wch. tho' you have discribd in such tempting Language are still but fading Ornaments. But pardon me if I tell you there are Other Accomplishments which you have not mentiond fairly worth the rest, some of wch. tho' Not Needful in a Philosopher are Necessary in a Wife & those are Good Œconimy, discretion, & benificence. I think your discription includes Neither of these. You call them Intellectual Endowments, mear mental accomplishments wch. as such do not imply an application of them to the affairs of Life. These Mental Accomplishments well become a life of retiremt. devoted to Corntemplation, But the Lady that would beat the Stormy Seas of Matrimony must be well versed in the Arts as well as the Science must be able to preserve the Ship of Stress of Weather to spread the proper Sails to favourable Breeze & make allowance for Leway in a head Wind. She must Suit her Conduct to a 1,000 Circumstances that the Philosopher knows nothing off. Wt. comfort is it that my Wife can reason like Seneca over an ill provided dinner or quote Diogenes for the dirtyness of her house. The Woman was made for a help Meet i:e to do those offices the Man cannot but if she intrudes into the Province of the Man she has more need of a Wife than she is fit to be one. I conceive therefore her essential Qualifications must be 1st. Œcomimy which implys a well regulated frugality well directed Industry & universal Neatness. Next is Discretion Under wch. I rank that Circumspect Behaviour which is requisite to prevent ill rumours from abroad or Jelosies at home. The last is that wch. sweetens all & makes it a Wife. Benificence wch. convinces a Man that all is done for him, Benificence wch. consults every desire wch. prevents59every Want, Beneficence wch. almost Justifys her Errors & Deify's her good Action, Beneficence wch. tho it terminates in her husband yet regulated by the other virtues flows forth to all the Objects of Pity: & now may not a Lady be possess'd of these qualitys without that strength of Reason Judgmt. Penetration &c., you discribe. If she has Sufficient for this I think her richly endow'd tho' she reads no book but her Bible. Strength of reason &c., will most commonly breed difference of sentiments that Moth to Matrimonial Peace, & of consequence by how much Stronger the Powers of the Mind by so much greater the Evil. But if ever Judgment &c. be wanted, & O is it not wantd it is in the Education of Children that Maternal Blessing wch. is better than any Patrimony, their tender Minds are capable of Impression of acquiring Any Habits, the first seeds take root the deepest, & who can discribe the depravity we derive from our tender Mothers, to watch the Op'ning Genius, to tend the budding Virtues, to crop the sprouting Vice. Here let me pause. If for anything I would hazard the qualitys I have discrib'd 'tis for this. But is it inconsistent with them or is it not rather connected with & dependent upon them; I do not apprehend there is any Occasion for a Philosophical Brain or a smart turn of Wit. Language & the Sciences are if ever the business of riper Years, 'tis Sufficient for the Mother to teach it plain English & common Sence, wch. Discretion implyes, the first seeds of frugality, Industry & Beneficence on all Occasions inculcated upon must be recommended to them. This will prevent all Idle corrupting expence, that Indolence & humoursome disposition & that revengfull Malicious Temper which is so almost Universally inculcated upon Children, even by Weomen of the greatest pretensions to Knowledge. Is it any comfort to me that my Ofspring are rendred Babboons by a woman of fine sence. Tis Truth a Universal Love of Truth must be first instilld & forster'd to be debauc'd with no delusions wch. if recovered render even Falshood sacred & break thro' all Restraints to esteem Truth, without wch. there can be no Virtue & with it no Vice, plain common Truth wch. calls in no penetration or close reasoning to its assistance, wch. a Woman of Comon Sence is qualified to teach & wch. a Woman of exalted Sence may think beneath her attention. Thus I have told you wt. it is that engages my Esteem & allmost my affection Vizt. a Qualification for & a dispositon to perform all the Dutys relative to our Station in Life. Wn. these are fixt, many accomplishments may fall in by way of Ornament & the first I should choose would be a good Singer rather than a Woman60of Contemplation. That is a profitable rational Amusemt. The latter is the cause of Woe & should never be indulg'd by Any whose Bodys are as liable to great fatigues or changes. To conclude, permit me Madam to point out another Mistake in yr. masoning But wt. avails it wt. are my opinions of these matters. Would you dispute a Christian doctrine with one who denys his Bible. Why then do you Examine my sentiments wch. are but mere Theory. I do but say wt. I would choose in a certain Circumstance without hinting I ever intend to be in it, tho' I must observe to you tis but this minute I Understand the Conclusion of Letter. The Little Miss you sent enclos'd like the gen'rallity of her sex which you sent her to represent being very coy as well as silly so artfully evad'd my Sight that she was balk'd in her expectation of my following her. But as soon as she discovered her self I could but take Notice how exactly she was in Miniature What we dayly see at full length. But really you have left me no room for Satyre having said of her that shes the only woman that will do me no hurt.

Dft ; endorsed: "from & to Lavinia" followed by a brief note in undeciphered code.