Boston Novr. 1754
Should I tell you that the world was a Scene of constant vicissitudes, I doubt not you'd readily reply, who knows not this, but still, self evident as it is, remarkable Instances gives us Occasion not only to Observe but even to declare it. Without holding you Any longer in Suspense I shall observe to you that it is the loss of a very good Freind, that Occasions this my Complaint. Whether he died a Death, Natural or Artificial, Operative or Speculative, Civil or Military, Political or Œconimical, Spiritual or Carnal, or Whether he has only made a Transit, I wot not, but that he is dead, I averr. I have made great Enquiry concerning the Manner of his death & dying Speech. Some say he died of Herisy (a disease that has been long Gnawing his Vitals) & that he left a plentiful Estate consisting of Mops, Disclouts & Ragged Garments, with advice Never to use a Neighbours Sleeve. Some say he dyed of a Distemper calld the Lives by Means of which his Inwards were all turn'd to a vivacious Animal call'd223Maggots, which were often seen, working in his Eyes, Sometimes in his Ears, but oftnest at his fingers Ends & elsewhere, till at last they seiz'd his heart & carried it off as a tumble Bug does his Load. Nothing but these Lives themselves can ever declare the Estate he has left, it consisting of Men in the Shape of Brick Bats Love in the shape of an Inkhorn, a Complicated Machine for Reducing Chocolate to a half digested consistency to expedite Animal Nurishment, one very compleatly finish'd for playing the flute; & one infinitely intricate for playing the Violin with his Toes as the piggs do Organs. And whether he did not go off in some new Modelld Machine I quære. I hear he has left me a Legacy of a curious Engine for extracting Hairs from the Brains & an Iron to solder crackt Skulls, the former being Neerly worn out, he having in the latter part of his life applied it for Killing of Maggots. I cant learn what his Exit was but by a posthumous paper it appears he complaind of the Leapings of his Heart & seriously exhorts all to use of Dr. Moss's? Worm Powder. Some say he was Murderd by an Impudent Urchin who shot him with an Arrow in his Heart, not thinking him qualified for one of his Subjects but only to try the Experimt. whether his shaft would enter, wn. to his great disappointment in sank deep. He would fain have extracted it, not willing to loose an Arrow, but his Heart soon grew big, and as the Trunk of his Body became inflated so his Face became meagre. This Poison having posses'd his Brains, made them quit their Lofty Mansions, for they began to find out they live'd in Creations Cockloft, so they betook themselves to Genteeler parts such as the Wrists the Bosom (wch. from this time became a favrite Word with him) & some say to the Heels also, however tis Certain he Broke the Dart from the Head & made a Pen of it, admirably adapted to write Acrosticks & explore Mistical Ænigmas. With the? help of an Engine he had made he would stand at a Distance & Dart Never Daring a Neer Approach. Besides in all his Atchievment in the service of the Boy he had got such an inconsistant Mesmedly of Virtue, Respect, Modesty & I know not what other silly? Words, that Cupid vex'd to find himself so Abus'd, shot Another Dart & kill'd him. As for Estate, that say he did not leave Enough to pay fun'rel Charges, so that being Unburied According to the Curse of the Antients, he wanders on the Shore, & waits on the advocates of Love Rowing them across a River in a little Barge, wch. Renders his Curse not altogether unlike that of Tantalus; his Ghost now preaches, Warning all never to Adulterate the flames of Cupid with the Pedantry & inconsistent Virtue of the Muses.224Some say he died of forgetfullness, for that not having for a long time thought of the World or Any of his Freinds in it he at last? ceased to be, slipping out as it were from the back Door of Nature. & no doubt he forgot to make a dying Speech & even to left an Estate. However before the distemper had made a thorough Progress he made his Will devising me some Powder to cure Worldly carefullness, but the he forgot to leave to pay me. In short there are so many Reports concerning his Decease that I give no heed to any of them, but being acquinted with his Constitution I conjecture he dy'd of pure Refine?. He having with Labour & pains Erected & compleated An Engine for Reducing Mankind to the Strait Paths of Reason, by Refining & Rectifying their Brains. So great were his Labours in this most pleasant Employment, & so Noxious the Steems that arose from the Inherent corruption of these Brains, put him on Refining himself in Each Process, till at last he became so Refind that his Earthy Particles Were not Sufficient to detain him. So he floated from the Earth, till he has or will arrive where the Œther is of equall density. There he no doubt will become a Mighty Comet, his head? having been observ'd to shine, this some time since, & when his Posteriour Shall became inflammated, he will no doubt drag a monstrous Tail. His dying Speech then will be many. Every Old Woman will Rehearse them & his Intaild Estate will be overtures in chh. & state, alteration in Politicks, to say nothing of the destruction of creeds. This I take to be his last Apotheosis, & according to the Calculation of the learned we may Expect a Comet in 1758?. Whether twill be the same I can't say tho' I'm inclin'd to think 'ere that Time he will be arrived at some other System.
It is this great Loss that has Occasioned me to bewail the Vicissitude of Life, & if the World as it refines flys off & becomes presager of Ruin who'd be willing to tarry here. At first I feard the Refind Souls of this World would spread thro' all space & leave nought but a sceleton but a second thought shew'd me that where one flys off one thousand gravitate to the Center, but then the more is Mist these Refined Souls. Weep with me My Friend, for in him I lost an Every Shaped Freind & if the World say he was Chimerical 'twas 'cause they knew only his Superfices, but he has carried me to his Inner Chamber where the Infinitely Complicated Wheels & Springs gave Infinitely various forms to his Soul & Body. I purpose to have a statue made in the shape of a soul intirely of Joint Work so as to present him to my veiw in all the forms I can Recollect, least in225the Multitude of Ideas I Establish no certain one. Hoping these lines will find you well I conclude.