The North wind was almost a gale this morning. I went into town with it blowing in my face very violently and scarcely recollect having had a more disagreeable ride. My time was very much taken up between my house and Office. Found the Cook there this morning, but was disappointed in the man who did not come at the time promised. I accidentally found him afterwards and as he appeared to be an idler without any adequate excuse I dismissed him on the spot. This disarranges me very considerably. I do not at present know what to do.

Called to see Mr. Brooks and Mrs. Frothingham. The latest accounts from Henry are very distressing and I am sorry to say tolerably decisive of his fate. This is deeply unfortunate, particularly at this time to me. I can only trust in a merciful Providence who guides and guards all our destinies. Our fate is in his hands. Mr. Brooks appeared to me exceedingly depressed.

I returned home to dinner and passed my Afternoon in writing Index for the third Volume of the Papers which I completed. I was quite fatigued and unable to do any thing in the evening. The night was quite a cold one.

I went to town this morning for the purpose of attending to my household which yesterday’s accident had disarranged. At the house I found Mrs. Field, and not very long afterwards I procured a man so that this thing was off my mind. My time until one o’clock passed I scarcely know how.

I then went to see Edward Brooks for further news from New York. He handed me a letter from Sidney decisive enough in its character and advised me to remain in town until the afternoon Mail so that I might prevent my Wife from feeling any farther suspense. He asked me to dine which I did, he and his Wife being quiet and alone. She looks to me pretty much as she used to, before she was sick, although she still remains in a very feeble condition. After dinner we went down to his Office and found there a Letter giving the final intelligence. Poor fellow, he was just about my age and as amiable, good-hearted a man as I ever knew. I have seen but little of him owing to his various and continual absences, but I know none of my brothers in law for whom I have felt greater regard. But such is the destiny of man. What shadows we are, and what shadows we pursue. 162He had every thing to live for, but God in his infinite wisdom pronounced his decree, and the reasoning of mortals upon it is made foolishness.

It remained to me to disclose the fact to my Wife, for which I started directly on my return. But I did not effect it entirely. She received such intelligence however as to make his recovery hopeless to her, and I reserved the last until the morning. She was much affected, but bore it as well as I could expect. Quiet evening alone with her.