Morning clear but attended with the degree of cold we have been having which is so unusual. I arose after having had an uneasy night and attended Divine Service through the day. Mr. Frothingham preached in the morning. Text taken from Psalms 145. 8. “Snow and vapour; stormy wind fulfilling his word.” It was upon the idea so frequently expressed that the severities of the Atmosphere were Judgments of God. Resisting this as an improper construction he proceeded to reconcile the rigour of the elements with the beneficent character of the Deity, and produced a conclusion that was agreeable to the words of the Text. I did not succeed in grasping the Sermon and am therefore reduced to this lame account of it. Mr. Parkman preached in the Afternoon a Sermon that happened to be peculiarly suited to my state of feeling. Romans. 11. 33. “How unsearchable are his Judgments and his ways past finding out.” It was an examination of the apparently unequal operation of Providence upon the merits of Men. The exaltation of the vicious in health, fortune, friends and honor, and talent, with the corresponding depression of the Virtuous by severe trials in all these. He came to the conclusion from these that it is not for man to exercise his Judgment in questioning the correctness of such dispensations, but it is for him in faith and hope to trust that the Deity envelopes in darkness that which it would not befit us to know, but that which is in fact the certain course of his Justice. I said this was suited to my State of feeling, because it seemed as if I was myself somewhat tried. On subsequent reflection however, I felt ashamed of myself for considering any thing which I was experiencing as trial. 196And though I had never remitted a moment my trust in the Deity, I thought I was sinful in repining at all when I had been so eminently favoured throughout my life.

Read a Sermon of Massillon’s. Upon Prayer, from Matthew 15. 22. “Have mercy on me, O Lord, thou son of David.” He considers the reasons urged against Prayer in two heads. 1. That Men do not know how to address the Deity. 2. That they are not in a fit state to do so. These he refutes. But I do not consider the Division or the refutation very striking. The fitness of individual Prayer can not be questioned. To the most miserable it is a relief.

Evening read one of Barrow’s Sermons upon the Profitableness of Godliness which seemed to me more masculine. Then the Spectator.

My Wife is slowly but gradually getting better. My man still continues sick and the rest of my family are worked enough to wear them out. I went to the Office feeling under most anxiety for the Child who has taken her Mother’s sickness.

Occupied in various ways, drawing Accounts and writing my Journal. Purchased today some more Suffolk Insurance Shares.1 This is hardly a prudent step in my present situation as my expenditure cannot be foreseen at all as it could be a year since. And unless my Dover Stock2 should bring me off safe, I shall have to retrace my path at the hazard of loss in a falling Market. I am fully sensible of this but my anxiety is so great to improve all reasonable opportunities of enlarging my means, that I feel under the necessity of straining a little. And on the whole the risks are now in my favour, and at worst I can only sell out Stock that is good.

Dined at Mr. Frothingham’s to save trouble at my House. Afternoon reading Cicero and Evening, Gibbon. The Child gave us much uneasiness and kept us up to a late hour. Read the Spectator.

The Weather holds on unusually cold. My Wife grows slowly better but her patience is giving way under the constant pressure of her sickness. The Baby is rather better. My man has gone to other Quarters 197and so on the whole I feel myself much relieved. I went to the Office, although from these peculiar circumstances quite late. Time was spent in writing up my Journal and Accounts and drawing up my statement for T. B. Adams Jr. of his Affairs in my hands. Returned home and went from thence to Mrs. Frothingham’s to dine. Then back but my Fire was in so poor a state that I consumed some time in getting it up, and therefore did little more than finish the third book De Natura Deorum which contains all that can be said in favour of Atheism. The Argument is undoubtedly a plausible one but after all it is weak. What is Man that he should set himself up as the creature of accident? What known state of things resulting from chance could ever authorize an argument in its favour as the cause of all the regularity of Nature? It is harder to believe in accident than in a Deity. Evening. Read Gibbon. Second Volume embracing the latter Roman Emperors of the Western Empire. His Style though satiating is still very good. Read two good Numbers of the Spectator.