Arose this morning and breakfasted a little late, my wife being quite unwell. I sat with her until Susan Brooks came in, and I then went to the Office. Morning passed in writing my Journal and in arranging my papers. Chardon Brooks dropped in for a minute to speak about some Coal which he had engaged for me and to talk a little over the party. My Office has fallen into terrible confusion ever since the departure of my boy and I do not know when it will be restored. Returned to the House and found Mrs. Everett there, who was soon followed by her husband, Blake, Quincy and Mr. Lowell.1 Abby however was not over well to receive them. After dinner I sat with Abby and commenced reading to her Devereux a new Novel by the Author of Pelham.2

Julia Gorham interrupting us, I walked to the Office and became unconsciously engaged in reading portions of my brother’s Journal scraps which affected me exceedingly.3 There is much moral to be learned from his Life and the candor and warmth with which it was set down made me reflect upon his character and mine. He possessed all the cultivation of mind essential to his success, he held what is infinitely more to the purpose than any thing in my possession, an aptitude of language and power of style which made a fascinating writer. I have only steadiness of character, without the boldness of enterprise essential to success—and without any confidence in myself. Much of his record affected me much, particularly his ample details of his love affairs with Mary which materially affected his life—ever afterwards.4 Not that a marriage with her would have made him happy for I never believed any such thing, but his object of living was broken, and a chance was given to his weaknesses and evil inclinations to gain ground which never afterwards could be recovered. His Journal is interesting as a moral lesson to warn all young men and especially myself.

I returned home and found Abby alone. The Evening was quietly passed at home and I read a portion of Devereux to her. Quite happy.

Morning passed very happily. To the Office but there had for the first time a little fit of dullness occasioned by old reflections which I dreaded, and which I had heretofore escaped. Engaged at the Office in writing out the Deed for Mr. Curtis which I completed, also in my Journal and in performing sundry Commissions. Paid Mr. Forbes part of my debt to him it being so large that at this time I was unable to settle the whole.1 Indeed my father having given me no assistance at all on my Wedding, I am a little pressed for the amount to pay my furniture with.2 I then went home and found much Company had been with Abby and that Edmund Quincy and Henrietta Gray were still there.3 They were making so much noise and disturbance that it did not please me. I detest boisterous people—and boisterous fun. Abby is now and then impelled into it by others, for she has herself little fondness for it and is displeased when she sees it elsewhere. I love her most dearly in her quiet moments when affection is her principal feeling. Then she is invaluable.

She has lost some rings and several other things since her being here which renders it doubtful whether we have not a thief in the House. A circumstance as unpleasant as it was unexpected. I do not know what to think and to do about it. Afternoon at the Office—read more of George’s Journal and was led to reflect upon the waste of my 8own time which must not be much longer. He always had some method in his head of a useful kind even to the last when his power to execute them was totally extinct. I am allowing all my days to run to waste unless I start to make a barrier early. I must soon reflect upon a division of time and a concentration of purpose. For if God gives me life to act, I feel as if I was not made to suffer my powers “to rust in me unus’d.” This will do to think of. On my way to inquire for Miss Carter who has been sick since Monday, I met Miss Gorham who had come from there and walked home from there with her.

Evening, a party and Supper to my wife at Mrs. P. C. Brooks. Not a great many, principally Strangers—Mrs. Otis, Mrs. Ritchie, Mrs. Gilman and others.4 I felt a little dull, and not very talkative but I got through the evening, more rapidly than I had anticipated. Returned home, tired and sleepy at twelve. I did propose declining as much as possible every civility as I feel a little anxious about my means and am desirous that they should rather be over my wants than that I should have to beg for more of either of my Fathers.