The days of dissipation are gone for me. The succeeding morning brings to me now, nothing but repentance. This is all new, and I cannot help feeling a sensation of regret when I reflect that the hey dey of youth, when the blood is high and the heart generous, is so soon gone with me. I have had my share of the pleasures of the senses; I 292have had to make bitter atonement; and for the few hours which seem to me at this time like the gilded clouds over a setting sun, the beauty of their colours will not repay me for the shadow they cast upon futurity. But a truce with moralizing. The truth was, I felt heated and feverish in the morning after a sleepless night, and my spirits were not good. The morning passed in speculations upon the Maryland election and in conversation of a melancholy nature with my Mother. Paid a visit to Mr. Vaughan, in return for the dinner yesterday.

My father gave a dinner today to Genl. Verveer and his daughter. The Company consisted of Mr. Vaughan, Mr. and Mrs. Huygens, son and two daughters, Mr. Clay, Rush and Wirt, Mr. Montoya, Rebello, Genl. Macomb, Harrison and son, Capt. Rogers,1 Warrington, Baron Stackelberg, Col. Croghan,2 Mr. Nicholas of Virginia,3 Mr. Tayloe, Count de Menou, and others. The dinner was as handsome as usual but nothing occurred of particular interest. The remainder of the evening with the family.

My feelings were not much pleasanter today than they had been yesterday. After writing for a short time before breakfast, I did nothing during the remainder of the day. The morning was passed in conversation upon miscellaneous subjects and politics broached by the arrival of the mail with Maryland news of a decided and successful character.1 The government has fully sustained itself so far. Took a long ride with my Mother and Mary in the open Barouche and in the evening went to Mrs. Huygens’. Wrote a letter to Abby before dinner. It was an answer to Tuesday’s and written with as much restraint as possible. Indeed my feelings have in some measure changed since then and though still sore I have revived in hope. The party at Huygens’ was given in a room full of recollections to me. At the last party, a circumstance happened of deep interest to me and which has had a great influence on my life ever since. The company was dreary to me as I took no interest in any body there. I danced with Miss Verveer, and Matilda Pleasonton. The first out of compliment, the second for amusement. Returned at ten quite fatigued.