I wrote my portion of the Executive Record and read a portion of Maltebrun before breakfast. Studied law earnestly during the morning1 and wrote to Abby. No letters yet from her. Genl. Wool called to see me and delivered a message from her which made me quite comfortable. I do love this girl as I think a woman ought to be loved. Sincerely, fervently and yet with purity and respect. I can think of her in no other light. Other women have acted upon me by a voluptuous manner, to which I am unfortunately peculiarly susceptible, but I have never known one who has produced any respect before. I have seen so much of their bad shades of character that I had doubted whether any could create a different effect on me than this single one. But the very simplicity of Abby’s character is what has struck 119me most. It is a strong contrast to my previous experience of art. Enough.

I read for nearly an hour in Campbell’s Philosophy of Rhetoric which does not strike me so far as a peculiarly powerful work. There is more jingle of metaphysical titles in the work than is necessary for a book where simplicity of idea should be the object. Evening, Cards. On the whole this is a well spent day.

Copied as much as usual but had no time for Geography. After breakfast I went to Mr. King’s and took a sitting of two hours. He threatens half a dozen more. Of course my law was deficient. I also called upon Mrs. Wool,1 and got entangled for an hour in receiving company as she accompanied me home being just ready to come when I dropped in. I then was obliged to go and ride with my Mother as Mary was not at home, which occupations engrossed almost the whole of the day. In the evening, the family went to Mrs. Rush’s. I declined, stayed at home and read Burke’s famous reflections on the Revolution in France, for the purpose of forming a deliberate opinion and an independent one. But on the whole, dissatisfied with the day.

Finished the requisite quantity of Ex. Rec. and read a little of geography before breakfast, and was pretty studiously employed upon law, after which I took two hours of leisure, and went over the river. After dinner I rode to Bladensburg with John. This was one of my deeply melancholy days in which I look upon life as a thing in no respect capable of producing happiness to me. My God! The ideas which I have upon this subject are almost too dreadful to hint at. But I know most certainly that they produce deep misery to me. A short time may discover all. No letter from Abby yet, what can be the case with her; there lies the cause of all this feeling. My God! the trial is almost too severe.

I barely accomplished my Record without much time to give to Geography this morning. Instead of law, I took a sitting at Mr. King’s at least for two hours. The remainder of the day I employed myself 120pretty closely. No letter again from Abby which had a serious effect upon my spirits. We had a small party to dine, it being George’s birthday: Genl. and Mrs. Wool, Mrs. and Miss Pleasonton, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Mr. and Mrs. Frye, Dr. Huntt, Mr. Wyer and Miss Roberdeau: the latter has come to pass a few days here. George and Abby were remembered in the flowing cups. But in all the gaiety I could not get over the feeling of vacancy which the scene produced. My feelings were not there. The evening seemed to pass very pleasantly however.