My excessive fatigue and uncomfortable night made me delay my time of rising until very late which made me miss Prayers, a most remarkable number of which I have neglected this last week. Indeed dissipation of any sort has become exceedingly irksome to me as I always feel more contented staying here and doing what I know to be 197my duty. Was not the time of Tudor’s residence here so short and my amusement to stop immediately upon his going away I certainly would not feel desirous of any thing of the sort. I do not wish any more the society of students. My feelings are in a singular state. I feel alienated from all my friends and in their society my nerves are continually jarred. I am again disgusted with the boorish temper of Richardson, with the meanness of Otis, with the narrow mindedness of Wheatland, the obstinacy of Dwight, the rough pawing of Tudor and the nonentity, to use such an expression. It is well for me that I keep such a book as this to vent my angry feelings and not to show dislike except to one. They all have redeeming qualities to counterbalance their peculiar faults except the infinite foolishness of this one who has not even the good temper which I once gave him credit for. Enough of this subject. It is grating to think that I never could continue esteem to any particular individual after I had seen a certain quantity of him. Tudor, I like most because to me he exhibits none of that which makes him appear badly in his conduct to others. I have repulsed even such advances in intimacy as would make me too familiar with any person. I think it the only way to keep respect from others, and good will to companions. A man will not be so much liked but he is raised by tacit consent and always spoken of in terms of respect in like or dislike. There is a good stanza in Cowper on this subject which is too long to quote however, and I know it sufficiently well without.1

I spent this Morning in writing an answer2 to my father’s letter of yesterday which took me considerable time. I stated to him an accurate list of expenses here and informed him that I could not reduce my demands a bit at present. In case I found that more money was on my hands than I expected, I would return the sum whatever it was or count it as in my hands for which my honour was responsible. I wish for this as a trial. I wished for the Knight Accounts3 as one and I thank Heaven I am able here to say that I have acted the part of a good Steward.

Dr. Ware preached in the Morning which was rainy and unpleasant, Mr. Jenks4 in the afternoon, his Sermon was highly metaphysical in it’s Commencement, and rather too demonstrative, by this I mean mathematically so, in its close. It was too much of an attempt ending I am sorry to say in a failure. I regret it because I respect the man as being one of my schoolmasters whom I thought well of and almost the only one. He implanted or strengthened in me an early taste for reading by a simple method which I should always recommend to a good schoolmaster. After having got my lesson, he used 198to permit me to read a Plutarch which he kept on purpose in the school and gave it to me as a mark of distinction and scholarship in this way exciting me by every motive which can act upon a boy to gain instruction. I believe it is to this I owe my clear ideas on the subject of history.

I also finished the tenth and last volume of Aikins British Poets today by reading Beattie5 who closes the collection. I have been now three months and five days in it in which I have taken but two holidays and those unavoidably. Of this regularity I have reason to feel proud since it ensures to me that method which is of such great importance in future life. Perhaps I have not adhered to my resolution of noticing critically every author but I found it more than I could do upon a first reading which was the case with many of them, at least to give a good one, so that I thought it much better to give a good one at some future time when I could discover all or most of the beauties which have escaped. My comparison in Cowper has made me ashamed as I find that I have not got so much taste as I thought, and also that I have been somewhat negligent in the second perusal as I found out but half the beauties which I observed the first time.

I spent a little while in the Evening with Otis but my day had been so much employed that it was not until late that I could close my Journal. If I only had a little more of my time at my own disposal and less at that of the governors of the institution I should be more willing to remain here. I am however pretty well satisfied even now. At half past nine I read my Chapters which continued this Evening the song of Moses on the overthrow of Pharaoh. I then spent a little while in looking over my Enfield which has become rather toilsome and disgusting now however and went to bed noting also that I resisted an invitation of Tudor’s. X.

Attended Prayers and recitation in Enfield this Morning reading 199my Chapters in the recess. At study bell, I attended Mr. Channing’s Lecture which was today on the subject of modern deliberative oratory in general. He took a view of the different ages, he compared the advantages of the one with those of the other. The modern deliberative Orator he said did not address himself to any but those few who were members of the same assembly with himself. His duty was to act upon them and no one else, he should mind neither the persons on the floor nor in the gallery but merely the ones immediately interested in the business. And to them he was to speak only with arguments founded on the strongest reasoning, he was to affect their heads and not their hearts. On this account modern eloquence had been styled cold, and perhaps it might be so, but it was the more noble, it was an appeal to the understanding and also to the feelings not merely to excite the violent passions. He said the difference between a lawyer and an Orator was that the former was bound to defend his client to the utmost and never to yield the argument, the latter came to the Assembly prepared to be influenced by the strongest reasoning which he heard whether in support or against a measure.

It had been said he was aware by some that this was all fudge, that in a state agitated by violent party spirit a vote was given always on the principles of the side, that an opposition voted against many measures of the minority even when they had no reason but that they originated so. He was inclined to think however that this was not entirely so, and that there always existed a certain portion who were influenced by the force of argument. The Lecture on the whole, was quite a good one and I was much pleased, at the same time convinced that he knew very little indeed concerning ancient affairs of any sorts and was willing to slide over them as gently as possible.

I from thence went to the Athenaeum where I found no news of any importance. I came home, wrote my Journal and attended a recitation to Dr. Popkin in which I was taken up first and being suddenly called upon when I had not previously read the passage, I made a singular mistake which evidently manifested my neglect of the lesson. They are of a nature however not to profit me in reading over as a Concordance with a Testament will serve when I wish to prosecute the study at some future time when my doubts shall have taken some broader head than they have at present for at this time, this could do me no good.

After dinner I studied Botany and dissected flowers until two o’clock but was not successful in any of my trials. I advanced so far last year that now I see nothing to do although I am very conscious 200that something is wanting, principally a knowledge of the terms and leaves. At two o’clock I attended Mr. Nuttall as usual, he lectured to day upon the stamens, a principal and important part of the flower. He illustrated the various classes by examples beginning with Monandria and going through the whole sexual system of Linnaeus. He is so simple that it is impossible to give any thing of an abstract of his lectures. He is also so illustrative that I could do nothing but write all the flowers which would take too much time.

Returning home, I immediately prepared to visit Mr. Farrar. Otis and myself went from our house today, Sheafe returning into the section. We spent half an hour pleasantly enough and derived at least for my part some instruction. He gave me another system to look over at my leisure. After this recitation, I came home and read the seventh Chapter of Mitford which closes the first volume. It continued the history of the rise of the connection between the Persians and the Greeks, the affairs of Persia, the history of Histiaeus and closed with an account of the failure of the first expedition of Darius under Datis and Artaphernes, the victory of Marathon and the death of Miltiades, a circumstance much to be regretted as it shows that the people can easily be made a tool by the designing even against their greatest benefactors. I am afraid that all history will prove this.

I attended Prayers after which, I took a walk with Otis conversing much as usual. After which I employed my Evening in reading the life of Solon in Plutarch which gives an account of the age and the wise men so famous in it. There appear to be many more than seven aspirants however as I counted over ten in this and in Anacharsis where I read a portion of what the author calls the age of the laws. He divides the history into three ages as he calls them; this is the first, that of Themistocles and Aristides is the second, and that of Pericles the third, these two he calls the ages of glory and of luxury. I finished this evening the account of the laws of Solon which are generally well adapted to the people. The author however makes some observation concerning the laws and government which I would desire to reconsider before assenting to them. Thus the Evening passed away much to my satisfaction and I retired with pleasure at the consideration of every duty fulfilled. X.