Adams Family Correspondence, volume 12
And is it possible that my charming friend should feel an uneasy sentiment a sentiment of fear in sitting down to write to me: to me, the friend of her Heart, who would rather suffer a thousand torments than give her a moment of pain?— I am really ashamed of myself for having by morose expressions chilled the feelings of a breast which was formed for the reception of none but warm and kind, and generous sentiments.— Pardon!— pardon!—my gentle friend. Believe not that my worst humour has ever extended to my tenderness for you. Amidst a thousand crosses, I have not kept my temper mild and placid and unruffled, as that of a Philosopher ought to be, and when we are provoked to petulance, any thing, however distant from the cause of irritation becomes obnoxious to it.— With you indeed, I ought to be always amiable; and always ought to avoid, what I now have to excuse— I will endeavour to acquire that controul over myself, and I well know how unnecessary even the remotest appearance of harshness is in signifying disapprobation to you.
I have written to your father by this Post.—1 I am afraid that the only possible chance, I see for our meeting again in Europe, will fail me like all the former. If so we must still continue the painful practice of Patience.
The certainty, of an immediate passage from England to Lisbon, in a neutral vessel, with such accommodations as would suffise for you, will induce me to overlook every other consideration. Engaged
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as I am in the service of the public, a detention in England, for the chance of an opportunity which might not happen for months, would be inconsistent with my duties, to which I am bound to sacrifice if necessary, every private concern.— If the expedient which I have suggested to your father meets his approbation and has your consent, we shall yet have the happiness of completing our union in Europe— You know the Man you have chosen, for the friend of your life— You know him the better, for that absence, which has at once shewn you a trial of his affection and of his temper.— He has disguised to you none of his failings and weaknesses. You know the chances of hardship, inconvenience and danger, which you may be called to share with him. You know his inviolable attachment to his Country, and his resolute determination not to continue long his absence from it.— You know that upon his retirement, the state of his fortune will require privations, which will be painful to him only as they may affect you. Choose, Louisa, choose for yourself, and be assured that his Heart will ratify your choice.
I shall remain here time enough in all probability to receive your answer to this. If the opportunity for a passage from England can be assured, I shall immediately come to you. If not, let us submit with resignation to the will of Providence, and acquiesce in the separation which we could not prevent. Above all, retain unabated your affection for your friend, and believe him unalterably yours.
RC (Adams Papers); FC-Pr (Adams Papers).
In his letter to Joshua Johnson, also of 12 May, JQA described his difficulty finding a neutral vessel sailing between London and Lisbon and accepted Johnson’s offer of passage in the schooner Mary, as long as LCA was willing to travel in the small vessel; otherwise, he would make arrangements to travel aboard a Danish vessel departing from Amsterdam (Adams Papers).
JQA wrote a similar letter to LCA on 19 May repeating that he held slim hope of meeting with her in Europe. He also noted TBA’s imminent return from Paris and the closing of the local fair (Adams Papers).
most cordially welcome to me was your kind Letter of May the 4th, yet I have not found time since my arrival to thank you for it, or even to write a Line to any Friend. my Journey was as pleasent as my thoughts upon what was past, and my anticipations of what was to come would permit it to be. we reachd East Chester on thursday
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noon and found mrs smith and Children well. my reflections upon prospects there, took from me all appetite to food, and depresst my Spirits, before too low. the col gone a journey, I know not where I could not converse with her, I saw her Heart too full. such is the folly and Madness of speculation and extravagance. to her no blame is due. Educated in different Habits, she never enjoyd a life of dissipation. the Boys are fine Lads, I wish they were at Hingham under your care. I tarried one day & a half, and then went into Nyork. Charles lives prettily but frugally. he has a Lovely Babe and a discreet woman I think for his wife, quite different from many of the Family. a Number of Ladies and Gentlemen visited me there. on Monday the 8 of May we left Nyork to persue our journey. on Wednesday morning about 25 Miles from Town, I was met by my Friend who clameing his own, I quitted my own carriage, and took my seat by his side. we rode on to Bristol where I had previously engaged a dinner, and there upon the Banks of the Deleware, we Spent the Day, getting into the city at sunset. I found my Family of Domesticks had arrived on Saturday without meeting any accident, which was very fortunate for 40 miles through the Jersies was the worst Roads I ever travelld the soil is all clay. the heavey rains & the constant run of Six stages daily, had so cut them up, that the whole was like a ploughd feild, in furroughs of 2 feet in deepth, and was very dangerous. to me you may well suppose such roads were more peculiarly distressing. they were so much so, as to confine me to my Room & Bed the greater part of Two days—by some applications I have in a great measure recoverd, tho I am still a sufferer.
Yesterday being Monday, from 12 to half past two I received visits, 32 Ladies and near as many Gentlemen I shall have the same ceremony to pass through to Day, and the rest part of the week. as I am not prepaird with furniture [for] a Regular drawing Room, I shall not commence one I believe as the Summer is to near at hand, and my Health very precarious. at the Winter Sessions I shall begin—1 Mrs Tufts once stiled my situation, splendid misery, She was not far from Truth. To Day the President meets both Housess at 12 to deliver His speech. I will inclose it to you.2 I Should like to learn the comments upon it, with a veiw to discover the Temper and sentiments of the publick mind. we are indeed as Milton expresses it, “Thrown on perilous Times”
We have Letters from the Minister at the Hague as late as 23 Feb’ry.3 I will send you in my next some extracts from them. they are
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in the Same strain of information and intelligence with the former. the decission as it respected the Election here, was well assertaind in France & England & Holland, and it had its influence upon all those powers.
I pray you to Remember me affectionatly to all my Friends & Neighbours. I rejoice in your unanimity as it respect mr Whitney, who you know is the Man of my choice without any prejudice or dissafection to mr Flint the union was however unexpected, but not the less agreable. the hour approaches to dress for the morning. My Love to cousin Betsy. I wish she could run in as formerly. I do not however dispair of seeing her Here, Some future Day.
I can say nothing to you of future prospects of returning to my own Dear Home. that must be governd by circumstances. my pens are so bad I know not whether you can read. I am most affe’ly / Your sister
The day is past, and a fatiguing one it has been. the Ladies of Foreign Ministers and the Ministers, with our own Secretaries & Ladies have visited me to day. and add to them, the whole Levee to day of senate & house strangers &c making near one Hundred askd permission to visit me, so that from half past 12 till near 4 I was rising up & sitting down— mr A will never be too big to have his Friends.
RC (MWA:Abigail Adams Letters); endorsed by Richard Cranch: “Letter from Mrs. / A Adams (Pha:) / May 16. 1797.” Some loss of text due to bleeding of the ink.
AA would hold a biweekly drawing room on Friday evenings from 24 Nov. 1797 to 22 June 1798 (Philadelphia American Daily Advertiser, 22 Nov. 1797; Philadelphia Gazette of the United States, 15 June 1798).
In his 16 May 1797 address to Congress, JA justified convening the federal legislature because deteriorating relations with France required a reasoned response. France’s refusal to receive Charles Cotesworth Pinckney as U.S. minister until its grievances against the United States were addressed was “to treat us neither as allies, nor as friends, nor as a sovereign State.” Pinckney’s expulsion, the country’s continued attempts to create divisions between Americans and their government, and the decree of 2 March against U.S. shipping were all given as a call to action by JA, who promised to “institute a fresh attempt at negotiation” but recommended “effectual measures of defence” be taken in the meantime. These included establishing a navy, arming merchant vessels, equipping frigates for convoy, and creating a provisional army to improve domestic defense. JA also recommended the renewal of U.S. treaties with Prussia and Sweden (
Annals of Congress
, 5th Cong., 1st sess., p. 54–59).
For a summary of JQA to JA, 23 Feb. (Adams Papers), see vol. 11:550.