I have recieved your letters of Janry. 28. and 31. which have afforded me more real satisfaction, than I have latterly been accustomed to experience—1

I think, I have at length discovered the meaning, of those very disagreeable expressions suspicion, and distrust, and can assure my best friend, if he alludes to what I said, respecting the circumstance that happened in our family, from the moment I engaged myself to him, I banished them for ever from my heart—Indeed my most loved friend, I have always, and do place the most implicit, and unlimited, confidence in you, and should our seperation continue 563 for years, (which heaven avert) I can never for one moment, admit a doubt of your affection to enter my mind— should I be mistaken in this conjecture, I must request those proofs, however painful, that I may at least endeavor to vindicate myself, and convince you I hope, that they are without foundation—

You must permit me once more to repeat what I said concerning our visit to Holland. I had no idea of remaining with you, nor did I know till lately, that my Father had written to you on the subject, you know his tenderness for his children, therefore I am sure cannot be surprized at any thing he may have written which was dictated by the utmost affection, and anxiety for our mutual happiness— Ah my dearest friend you cannot concieve how much I regret ever having hinted a wish to meet you as instead of giving you pleasure I have unwillingly caused you great uneasiness You think I have acted with impropriety— I am always anxious to act in such a manner as to merit your approbation, therefore am very unhappy you should see my conduct in such a light— I hope however you will pardon the involuntary error, from the knowledge of its proceeding from the sincerest, and most disinterested affection, and I trust, I shall soon by my unremitting attention, and solicitude, for your welfare, convince you that your Louisa’s heart is entirely devoted to you, and that she does not nor ever can distrust you—

Now my most esteemed friend let us mutually forget the past, and by a constant, and tender correspondence, endeavor to alleviate the pang of inevitable seperation— believe me I have long ceased to think writing a trouble, it is now my greatest pleasure, and when writing to you, I only regret that I cannot find Language sufficienly forcible, to express my affection, my love—

How shall I express my grateful sense of the honor your Mother has confered on me— say every thing for me your imagination can suggest, and tell her if the most constant and invariable affection for her beloved Son will secure her esteem, I flatter myself I shall ever retain it, and with pleasure acknowledge myself her daughter—

Our departure for America is fixed—we are to bid adieu to England, in about three months, preparations are making, though slowly— I have so often been disappointed in this respect that I am become indifferent to going or remaining here— were you there my friend, I should indeed endeavor to hasten our departure, but I really am so ridiculous as to wish to stay here, because the distance between us will be so much encreased— dont laugh at me, you know this said love is allowed to make people very inconsistent, and there 564 is some reason in this, as I certainly shall not be able to hear from you so frequently—

I shall however indulge the pleasing idea of your soon being enabled to follow us, should this happen, I shall indeed be happy, and will with pleasure relinquish every thing to share the simple fortunes of my dearest friend. I look forward to our meeting with the most heartfelt delight, I shall see you divested of rank, and shall prove the sincerity of my attachment by convincing you, that it was not your situation, but yourself that I loved—

It is here universally believed, that your Father is elected President— if I may venture to give my opinion, I think it will be fortunate for America, should he have gained his election— Mr. Jefferson, though a man of very great abilities, is not generally allowed, to possess that calm, intrepid firmness, which the present period demands— your father, has always been accustomed to a public Station, and I make no doubt, he would in this as in every other, acquit himself to the satisfaction of all parties— it is certainly an arduous and difficult task, and by no means to be wished, yet the more difficult it at present appears, the more satisfaction he will enjoy from the faithful discharge of it, for the welfare of his Country—

You see my friend, I write you every thing I think, because I am sure you will correct my errors, and kindly undertake to teach your Louisa, how to avoid such errors in future—

I have written so long a letter, that I am almost ashamed to send it, but I think my letters must at least have novelty to recommend them, they are always elegant and well written I sometimes think you will scarcely be able to read them, which is likely to be the case with this for it is perfectly unintelligible—

Adieu—Mama, and my Sisters, send their love to you still and ever believe in the sincere and unalterable affection of your tender and faithful friend,

It was not till last Evening that I received Your Letters of Febry 2d 4 & 7th. the post did not get in which was Due on twesday till 565 Saturday. I do not know how to pass a week without hearing from You. I received newspapers to the Tenth. in those I have an account of the Declaration.1 it was a Solemn Scene to You, and an affecting one. You will find by my Letter of the 8th that I was with You.

I have not taken any steps as Yet preparitory to quitting home. I must tell you a little of Farrming if you cannot give me any directions. Billings has tried various kind of work Since the Weather became milder. he workd two Days on the Wall before the House. he then attempted to break up a peice of ground upon the Hill where you directed this he has accomplishd and carted on the manure. he has since been Sleding Stones, for we had an other Snow which lasted for a few Days and assisted us in that Buisness tho it obstructed other. Veseys time expires this week, and buisness will soon press hard, so that I must have a hand immediatly and two in April if Billings goes on with his Walls. French is inclined to Stay, but wants some further indulgences, such as a little wood, and the use of the cattle wholy to himself except when calld to work upon this place, by which means he could pay for labour, upon the place. thinks the hire of a Man and maid will eat him up, unless he may be thus indulged. he will in consideration of it pay all the Shoeing and will get up some Seaweed into the pens; I have thought we had better consent to this, as we know the Man; and the trouble of looking out a new Tennant who may want as much, have a larger Family and Do us more harm than the amount of these articles. I shall however consult Dr Tufts as you direct, and will Do the best we can. I shall let him have Quincy Meddow and in lieu, Burrel is to take the whole of the pasture.

I have not yet tried Mears as I thought it would be time enough; for I have no disposition to give the management up whilst I remain here. I will enter into a treaty with him to take it in the fall if I can.

I conversd with Your Mother upon having a Room to herself, without nameing any particular place. she said she should prefer being with her Children, that she would come and stay with me some part of the time whilst I remaind here, and that when I went away I might make provision for her then if she lived. I told her I should be very happy to have her, and would make her as comfortable as I could tho it was probable my Family would sometimes be an incumberd one. she has spent one week with me, and when I know how matters are to be arranged I shall have her here again.

I cannot say any thing with respect to Domestick arrangement at Philadelphia untill I know what is in the House. I hope Still, that 566 Congress will consider the subject sufficiently to add what furniture may be necessary. I want not a stick of it at the close of the Term. You must not worry yourself upon that Head. I Suppose I can collect Domesticks from this way, the principles ones, but whether I could some in the lower departments I do not know I Mentiond in my Letter to mr Brisler a woman as an housekeeper whom I shall try for, but as She is with Jeffry and he is very good to her, and has made her and two grandchildren who are dependent upon her very comfortable I do not know that I shall succeed. the yellow fever has its terrors With many and I do not wonder at it.

My Dearest Friend as you have been calld in Providence into the chair of Government, You did not accept it without knowing that it had its torments, its trials its Dangers & perplexities. look steadfastly at them, arm yourself with patience and forbearence and be not Dismayed, and May God and the people support You. having put your Hand to the plough, You must not look back, nor ought you I think to wish you had not.

I presume yu will have a Splnded Birth Day. there are preparations making in Boston to celebrate it. I received a very polite Note inclosing a Card for me & an other for Louissa for the Washington Ball: the Note from the Managers requested me to honour them with my attendance, which they should esteem a particular favour, as it is the last publick honour they can Shew the President. thus circumstanced I have determined to attend—2

I hope your next Letters will be more explicit, and that you will be able to fix upon Some plan—

I am My Dearest Friend allways willing to be a fellow Labourer with You in all those Relations and departments to which my abilities are competent, and I hope to acquire every requisite degree of Taciturnity which my station call for, tho Cabot says truly that it will be putting a force upon nature I expect many trials when it may be hard work, but as Porcupine Says, I Shall think.—

communicate to Me what ever you learn of our Dear Sons. there we have pleasures which Washington never knew. one Man ought not to have every thing. adieu there is one plasure wanting to me, that of folding to My Bosom the Dear partner of all My joys and Sorrows and telling him that I am ever his