I received by Mrs: Atkinson your favour of the 20th: instt: which has added not a little to the weight of anxiety which, before hung heavy upon my mind. The Suspense in which I must continue, I know not how long with respect to my own prospects, has at present a constant operation to depress Spirits not naturally very lively; but when my solicitude for the welfare and happiness of my Sister is painfully excited by the circumstances which your Letter suggests, I must confess my state of mind is very far from being enviable— I am fully sensible, and I hope properly grateful, for the superior advantages with which I am favoured, above many other young people of my own standing in Life; yet perhaps the idea, that “to whom much is given, of him, much shall be required,”1 does not at present tend to alleviate the disagreeable sensations, which in my present state of doubt, while the impression of fear is strong, and that of hope but weakly supported, prevail in my mind. I have so often promised on my part, that industry, application, fidelity and oeconomy, should at least concur to render Fortune propitious, that the repetition of those engagements, might wear an appearance of ostentation.— But upon one subject, on which, from a passage in your letter, I am led to suppose you are under some apprehensions on my account, I think I can safely assure you, they may be quieted. You may rest assured, my dear Madam, that I am as resolutely determined never to connect a woman to desperate Fortunes, as I am never to be indebted to a woman for wealth. The same Spirit I presume will operate equally to prevent either of these cases, and you shall never be requested for your consent to a connection of mine, until I am able to support that connection with honour and Independence.

I hope soon to have the pleasure of seeing my father here; and to converse freely with him upon my present prospects and expectations. Perhaps his presence here may be of some service to me.— I wrote to you requesting directions respecting the horse, which I have still here; and I am waiting for your orders. If you think it best that I should keep him upon the terms which I mentioned, I can purchase hay, at a cheaper rate at present than in the winter, or perhaps I could be supplied with it from the Farm; if you think otherwise I will immediately send him out to Braintree. As my expences 97must at present be yours, I cannot think of incurring any without your approbation.

I have been so much in the habit of complaining to you; perhaps even of whining that it is time to say something on the other side of the Question; I will therefore close this Letter, with assuring you, that except the want of business, which perhaps I ought not yet to expect, my situation here is perfectly agreeable; and that I think I should be very happy if I could only have an opportunity to work my way. And with this good news I will only add, that I am, and ever shall be, your affectionate Son.

I Received by judge Cushing your very obliging Letter2 and am very happy to find that your Health was so far restored by your journey as to enable you to attend upon commencment. it would have afforded me much pleasure to have been present as I was peculiarly interested in the day. it is a little Singular that I should have three 98sons graduated there and not be able to attend at one single performance of either of them. the good and amiable Character with which mr Thomas quits the university affords the most pleasing Sensations to his affectionate Parents. you must excuse this maternal effusion as I believe you too Sincerly my Friend not to participate in that which so tenderly concerns me. and now my dear Madam How do you immagine Newyork both looks, and feels to me, one attraction after an other has left me here almost alone. Mrs Smith and Family are still strong ties, but were they Removed, I should wish to follow those who are gone before me. I visited mrs Walker twice after you left Town, but as mrs Page occupied your Appartments and we did not visit, I was saved the dissagreeable sensation of entering them and finding them destitute of all that endeard them to me.3 mrs Walker never spoke of you but in terms of most affectionate Friendship and her Eyes testified to the Sincerity of her professions. this day week I took a most tender and affectionate leave of mrs Washington She took me by Hand embraced me tenderly saying god Bless you my dear Madam we will meet again at Philadelphia but She has repeatedly told me that she shall never see N York again. She was extreemly affected the morning she left the city. I did not attend her upon the water as I had parted with her the Evening before. the Citizens of N york behaved with the greatest propriety. the Ladies who usually attended her drawing Room had taken leave of her in the course of the week, but the Govenour Clergy ministers of state and citizens who attended upon the President to the Barge which lay of just behind his House preserved a total Silence, not a word was heard, when the Barge push'd of each person took of his Hat bowd and retired.4 mr & mrs Lear remain in the House with part of the domesticks untill they remove to Philadelphia which will be in october5 with regard to myself I am so devided between a wish to remain with mrs Smith, and the doubt whether we ought to tarry here, that I am in a state of suspence which I am apt to think will terminate in a Removal but where ever I may be it will always afford me pleasure to see or hear from my dear Mrs Rogers. mrs Smith dinned with me yesterday being just a month since her confinement she has a fine Boy we cannot however help regretting the Sex