I received your kind Letter of May last week1 I was very sorry to hear that you and your Family had not escaped the prevailing sickness. the disorder has universally prevaild here. not a single one of our Family, except mr Adams has escaped, and Polly, it was very near proving fatal too. We Have been in very great anxiety for the Pressident. during the state of Suspence, it was thought prudent to say very little upon the Subject as a general allarm might have proved injurious to the present state of the Government.2 he has been very unwell through all the Spring, labouring with a Billious disorder but thought, contrary to the advise of his Friends that he should exercise it away without medical assistance; he made a Tour upon Long Island of 8 or ten days which was a temporary Relief, but soon after his return he was Seazd with a voilent Plurisy Fever attended with every bad Symptom, and just at the Crisis was seazd with Hicups & rattling in the Throat, so that mrs washington left his Room thinking him dying the Physicians apprehended him in a most dangerous state. James powders had been administerd, and they produced a happy Effect by a profuse perspiration which reliefd his cough & Breathing, and he is now happily so far recoverd as to ride out daily.3 I do not wish to feel again Such a state of anxiety as I experienced for several days I had never before entertaind any Idea of being calld to fill a Place that I have not the least ambition to attain to, the age of the two gentlemen being so near alike that the Life of one was as Probable as that of the other,4 but such a Train of fearfull apprehensions allarm'd me upon the threatning prospect, that I Shudderd at the view. the weight of Empire, particularly circumstanced as ours is, without firmness without age and experienced without, a Revenue setled, & establishd, loaded with a debt, about which there is little prospect of an agreement, would bow down any man who is not supported by a whole Nation & carry him perhaps to an early Grave with misiry & disgrace. I saw a Hydra Head before me, envy Jealousy Ambition, and all the Banefull passions in League. do you wonder that I felt distrest at the view? yet I 64could not refrain from thinking that even a Washington might esteem himself happy to close his days before any unhappy division or disasterous event had tarnishd the Lusture of his Reign

For the Assumption of the debts you will see in the papers a wise and judicious Speach of Father Sherman as he is call'd, and a very able & Lengthy one of mr Ames's.5 all has been Said upon the subject that reason justice, good policy could dictate. I hope it will yet take place, but mr M—— leads the Virginians like a flock of sheep. if congress should rise without assuming, I perdict that the Next year will not be so tranquil as the last, let who will hold the Reigns

With Regard to our own private affairs mr A says the Money for mr Parsons shall be ready at the Time when our sons time is up and that he approves of your proposal that John Should pay it himself to mr Parsons. as to the House, he thinks that, if a credible person or Family could be found to take the rest of the House at a Rent, equal to the present after deducting what must be given for an office, it would be advisable to let mr J—— have it, but if not an office had better be procured else where, and he would request you to use your own judgment about it. if you are in want of 30 pounds before commencment you will draw for it. I am fully of your mind that the place which Pratt lives upon had better be let at a certain sum under restrictions. as to the other, it would be better for us if the whole sum had been laid out in paper securities, then one might have had a chance of some benifit from it. Pratt has such an Army to mantain, & tho an honest Man I believe, he must be embarressd with such a Numerous Family. I believe G Thayer a much better Farmer.6

As to commencment I do not know what Thomas wishes. if I could have been at Home to have taken the trouble upon myself I should have been willing that he should have made a similar entertainment to his Brothers, and am willing that it should be so now, but know not how to trouble our Friends with it. it has given both mr A & me great satisfaction to learn that he acquited himself so much to his Honour & the pleasure of his Friends at the exhibition

The Hams arrived safe and appear to be very fine. I shall pay Barnard the money for them.

Present me kindly to all inquiring Friends and believe me Sincerely Yours

Phillips delivered me at Exeter a half sheet of paper from you,1 I trust I need not say it was very acceptable; I would only observe by the way, that I am no great friend to half-sheets. Sat verbum—2

We had a comfortable ordination.3 Phillips can give you any particulars that your curiosity may wish to be informed of. He was however by an unfortunate accident detained from the dance in the Evening. The weather was rather too warm but we danced till between three & four in the morning. The company was not so numerous as I should have expected. Nothing like a crowd.— Of five dances in which I join'd, I had a Miss Newhall as my partner for four; she was in former times reputed to be a flame of mine; and help'd to make me pass my time tolerably—4 There was however a weight hanging up on my spirits which she could not remove, nor could all the bustle and festivity of the time serve any further, than to make it somewhat less oppressive.— You have known me heretofore in such a state of mind for several days without any cause whatever; and I am persuaded that if from rational principles you cannot allow it to be a pitiable situation, your friendship will at least prevent you from considering it as a subject of derision. There is a passage in Hamlet, which describes in a striking manner that temper of mind, which you who are blest with a better flow of spirits cannot perhaps readily conceive. It is too long for a quotation, but if you wish to turn to it, you will find it in the sixth scene of the 66second Act. It begins “I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth &c”5 Putnam who went with me, and who has a fund of Spirits almost inexhaustible, enjoyed the occasion to perfection: and if laughter is a full evidence of happiness his felicity was incessant. The people were very hospitable, and we made ourselves quite familiar at almost all the houses in the town. We returned home on Thursday in the afternoon, very much fatigued, and I rejoyced that the expedition was brought to a close.

My Forensic with Bridge is at the same period of advancement that it has been at from the creation of the world to the present day; and will continue, and from this moment to the end of time in statu quo. I know nothing of such a forensic, but from common report— At any rate it will not take place, for Bridge is gone to Pownalborough; is now I presume a sworn attorney in the County of Lincoln, and has no thoughts of attending Commencement. My ambition and vanity are at present so much swallow'd up by a stupid indolence, and an unmeaning listlessness, that I have not a wish to show myself at that time; but I hope the President will offer the forensic to you and some other of our classmates residing in Boston; and that you will accept it if offered.—6 Little, as you know is gone to Virginia, and therefore the valedictory Oration must go to some one else: perhaps to Beale.7

I was at Haverhill about a fortnight since. They were then tolerably well, but I presume you saw Mr: Shaw at Election. He was at the Ordination with Betsey Smith and told me the family were all in good health. The young daughter is verily the child of their old age— For my part I cannot readily imagine how they can reconcile it to their consciences, to carry on that work yet. I wonder people at that time of life are not ashamed of getting children. I was so much scandalized, that I could hardly refrain from expostulating with them upon the subject.

I have not yet, I believe replied to a Letter of yours dated April 18th: it was written at Braintree,8 and I did not know how long you would continue there; this was one reason which has prevented me from writing; another has been a deficiency of subject. My time has been spent of late to very little purpose. Park's Insurance, Buller's Nisi-Prius and Blackstone have employ'd my few studious hours for two months past;9 and I have ventured to expose myself to imbibe opinions of infidelity by reading Hume's formidable essays; I have taken pleasure in the perusal; but I believe my religious principles will not suffer much from the catagion they contain.

The rest of my time has been but little diversified with Events. I have moved generally in one circle of company, and have had only a repetition of scenes which, however agreeable when they take place, would be very tedious in description.— We have had as a visitor for a month past, one of your fine Ladies, Miss K. Amory. I have been several times in company with her; and find her sensible and agreeable.10

The proximity of my departure from this place, has become an additional inducement to dissipation, and I shall henceforth scarcely look into a book. I feel very anxious to hear from Dr: Tufts upon the subject of an Office for me in Boston.— Never did I make an exchange in my situation with more unfavourable expectations.— Yet I believe it will be for the best— A firm determination to make the present a sacrifice to futurity is often the dictate of policy as well as of virtue

As to my being permitted as you say “to go about my business,”

I am ever affectionately your's,