Diary of Charles Francis Adams, volume 3

Saturday. 15th.

Titlepage

Sunday. 16th. CFA

1830-05-16

Sunday. 16th. CFA
Sunday. 16th.

The morning was fine but the air cold. The Wind having again become somewhat easterly. We attended divine service morning and afternoon and heard Mr. Stetson. He is quite a tedious preacher to me. I saw little in him to day to like. He may be a man of sense, but 237his way of shewing it is not attractive. We were very much alone at Mr. Brooks’, and I felt today more than ever the vacuum occasioned by the death of Mrs. B. There is a kind of loneliness about it, particularly now when Mrs. Everett is upstairs which is very affecting. So different was it last year though her fate was then impending and how much more so the year before when I went up about this time and saw there Dr. and Mrs. Thayer of Lancaster.1

This is the last page of the first volume of my Married life.2 Nine months have passed away very pleasantly, and my only regret is that my Wife is not with Child. I had hoped on her account much more than my own that she would have had an infant to soothe her loneliness. But it has not so turned out, and upon reflection I have had so many blessings showered upon me that I ought not to complain. I do not complain. This period of my life has had few things to make it bitter. And I feel too full of gratitude for what has been allowed me by a beneficent Creator, not to submit without a murmur to a privation his supreme wisdom has subjugated me to. My wife has lost a kind and indulgent Mother, but the blow had been so long coming that its force was broken. Its approach was gradual, and her sufferings were too melancholy to allow of much deep regret. Yet after all, she was a woman with as many fine domestic qualities, as in my life I ever saw, and to her family, her loss is not reparable. In general however my comforts have been many and my enjoyments great. May the future be as agreeable as the past, though this may be a presumptuous wish, I yet must hope it with humility.

The evening was chilly. Mr. and Mrs. Story, Miss Gray and her brother came and passed an hour in the evening,3 and William G. Brooks another, so that the time rapidly glided away.

1.

See vol. 2:240.

2.

That is, of the volume (D/CFA/5) which CFA had used earlier for diary entries but put aside, then returned to as to a new volume on the day following his marriage; see above, entry for 4 Sept. 1829 and note 1.

3.

Francis A. Gray (1813–1888), ABA’s first cousin, was Elizabeth (Gray) Story’s and Henrietta Gray’s youngest brother; see Brooks, Waste Book, 1 Oct. 1827; Medford Historical Register, 21 (1918):130.