I have had a very bad cold, attended with some other complaints which have enfeebled me, & made me look quite sick, for a fortnight I dare not go out of door, but I am now much better— The body, & the Mind are so nearly connected that the one cannot suffer without the other. To the indisposition of the former, would I attribute a certain depression of Spirits which has troubled me for some time. I feel as if my Heart was too, too big for its little Tenement— It is not because I suffer for the want of any-thing, for few women had ever more reason to be grateful than I. To a kind Providence do I feel myself indebted for the many Friends which have assisted me, & for the daily Favours I receive— It is cause of much thankfulness that when my Family is so changed, I have such agreeable Boarders, who are Companions that take a filial, or fraternal care of me— It serves greatly to sweeten the bitter Cup, which my heavenly Father has assigned me— The care of providing for them, occupies my mind, & keeps it from brooding over its own Sorrows in the Day—but in the night, in the Silence of night the Sleep I court, like a Phantom flies from me—& (I trust) “lights on lids unsullied with a Tear”—1 I cannot sleep my sister, or but very little— may all gracious heaven preserve my mind, & in every visiscitude which I may be called to pass through, may my temper be equal, & sedate— I go to sleep repeating that beautiful Apostrophe wherein Pope describes a good woman—

& wish most earnestly, that I may be possessed of that serene & placid disposition which is a continual source of pleasure, & of happiness—

I often question myself in the language of the Psalmist “Why art thou cast down, O my Soul? why art thou disquieted Within me?— 359 dost thou not hope in God? & is it not as an anchor to thy Soul?”3 sure & stedfast—why should thou fear Evil, if enlisted under the banners of him, who has stiled himself the widows God—

The Doctor has advised me to go out, & ride every Opportunity. I know I always lost my sleep whenever I have been any long time confined— I hope the cold weather, & air will brace my Nerves— To any body less affectionate than a Sister, I should not dare to say so much of myself,— You who love, & know me, can enter into all my feelings even to those of a Mother, & are sensible with what weight my Children lie upon my heart— Their Education & their welfare is my greatest Concern— I am happy that my Daughter meets with your approbation you cannot think what a comfort it has been to think that you love her— I have trembled for her— It was absolutely necessary she should go from this house—yes, & from one Mother to another—that would kindly check her temerity, & who would carefully pluck from her youthful mind those poisonous weeds, which if left would soon root out those seeds of Virtue, which I hope are implanted there—4

Mr Kent came last monday & brought Miss Margeret Austin, & left her here, & took Cousin Betsy Smith home with him—5 I tried to perswade miss Austin to tarry here a week, or more, but she had been a year from home, & we could not prevail with her— she went in the Stage on thursday— She is an amiable Girl, & is much admired by the Gentlemen— She deserves to be the favorite of every body— Mr Abbot continues with us, growing every day in the Esteem of the People— I hope they will soon come to a determination concerning him— Some persons say he is courting—the common cant you know, to be said of young Gentlemen—but if his Heart is not engaged, there is one dear Girl who has a Soul that I think in perfect unison with his—6 their tempers are so sweetly harmonized to the pure precepts of the Gospel that they could not but be happy in promoting each others best interest— they have kindred minds— their Souls were formed in the same happy mould—may “Cupid yoke the Doves”—7 Perhaps, I am enthusiastick in my Friendships— but I never saw anything in either of them but what I should delight in, if they were my own Children, & should say, go on—pursue the path of virtue grow in Grace, & the God who is Love, make you perfect—

I hope whenever you hear from your Children you will inform me of it— I have not time at present to write to Sister Cranch, or to 360 Betsy Quincy— Please to give my Love to them, & / accept of the sincere affection of your / ever obliged Sister

Yesterday I had your favour of 16. Mr Osgoods sermon has been printed here. I have heard Mr Gardiner, hinted at as the Writer of the Jacobiniad— some think Mr Paine himself writes it.

I am sorry for Mr Cleverlys Mortification and think the Cause of it might have been avoided.

I am Still afraid I shall not be able to get away, so soon as I once hoped.— I will Spend as much time as I can with Nabby. She is a good Child. I wish I could hear of her Safety. She was well the last time I heard but not abed.

You have eer this recd two Letters from Thommy. John wrote to his Master and Thomas to his Parents.1

There is no Vessell here bound to Boston. Brisler will provide the Things you write for to be sent by the first Opportunity.

The Farm goes on very much to my Satisfaction. knowing your Attachment to Wood, I consider it a Sacrifice to let the Teams cart manure & stones.— You will have Sledding enough now, for the snow is deep & the Weather cold.

I am anxious for Louisa— She must exercise. We have no News of late, from abroad. Mr Dexters Election is very pleasing here to all the good People. It would have been disgraceful to the People to have left him out.

The President & his Lady are remarkably well.— But Nelly Custis is as weakly as Louisa and for the same Reason want of Exercise.

The Governors Speech is pretty well— He is the better for a little Correction. It is the most constitutional and unexceptionable speech he ever made as Governor. A little of the old Leaven leaks out in an Insinuation against somebody. The Old Mans Virtue is at length lost in Ambition— And if Ambition and Avarice have seized him, who is Secure? When Ambition and Avarice, are predominant Passions and Virtue is lost Republican Governments are in danger. Honour & Profit instead of Virtue must soon become the Principle of the Government:

With the tenderest Affection I am as ever your