Boston February the 28.th 1752
Dear Mrs Mercy
In Return for Your kind Epistle I now embrace an opportunity
of writing to you. But how Can I who am in Such A Melancholy Scituation Pretend
to give you the Least Pleasure as you are Pleasd to Say my Scrawls do. No you must
Expect Nothing from me now; but The Language of an Heart wounded
with the Most Piercing Affliction; which I am Sure Must give Pain to your
Sympathising Mind. but your Tender Pity is what my Condition Calls for; & O how
Can I Describe that Complicated woe, which is Alotted me: In my Tender Years Deprivd
of my Father: my Guardian: before I was Capable of Paying that Filial Affection,
which the Bonds of Nature oblig'd me to: but this it seems was but an opening to
my Unhappy Portion: for after Being United in the Dearest Affection: To one who
heightned every joy, and Alleviated Every Care: one in whom there was Nothing
wanting, to Make Me one of the happiest Mortals: O how Silken was the Yoke,
what Blessings were Twisted with our Bonds: Surely we were the happy Pair:
But Alas, how short Liv'd the happiness; what a momentary Existence, I was Ill
Deserving. Therefore when I was Most Secure & was Solacing myself in the Most Pleasing
Prospects: Behold a Dreadful Commision. floods of Tears Prevent me: I can only say
O that Fatal Night: that Dissolvd the Nearest & Dearest Union: O Mighty woe: O
the wormwood & the Gall: & now all my joys lies Buried in the Dust: Sometimes I am ready
to Say: why was this my Life for Misery made: but I recall, shall I Complain. No be still
every Tumultous thought it is Infinite wisdom he who is excellent in all his ways
from this Dispensation & O the Vanity the Uncertainty of every thing beneath the Sun. I will
endeavour after a More enduring Portion than any thing Transitory: for when a few
more Wearisome months a Past, I shall also go the way whence I shall not Return in the mean
time I will Maintain the Sincerest Affection to the Memory of my Dear Deceas'd & the Most
invoialable freindship to my his Surviving freinds: and now I must Pay My Acknowled [gments]
To your Dear Father: for his Tender & kind Expressions Towards me at Mr Har [ . . . ]
My Obligations to him are Unspeakable, his kind Invitation to me to Dwell at his H [ouse]
Till the Small Pox be over Past is what will engage my Gratitude to him. I should think myself happy
in being in such an Agreable Family for whom I have Such a Dear Regard but I must
Accompany My Mother & My Sister in the Country if this Calamity should spread
I beg you would Make My best Respects acceptable To Your Good Father and Mother
My Kind Love waits on Mrs Molly I should Take a Line from her as a Great Favour
My Best wishes for You and all the Good. Family. May the Best of Heavens Blessings
Descend and Rest upon You this will I Breath forth in the Most Ardent Desires.
And Very Humble Servant
[Address]
Mercy Otis
Barnstable
[Endorsement]
(then Mrs. Tollman)
1752